


remember how the stars stole the night away

by lcgan



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), star wars the last jedi
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pizza Place, F/M, Finn and Poe, Lots of kissing, M/M, Multi, Please read, Reylo - Freeform, Sweet, pizza delivery girl, soft rey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-03-06 13:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 29,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13412565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lcgan/pseuds/lcgan
Summary: in which rey is terrified of the man who orders his pizza so calculatingly at midnight, until she has to deliver it to him. strange things ensue.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> please leave kudos and comments, they truly motivate me and make me want to finish working instead of abandoning this like my other works. this will be fairly short. enjoy!

It was like clockwork, everyday at approximately 10 past 11 the phone rang as loud and obnoxious as it had been her first night working there. Rey had no idea who decided to order pizza at practically midnight, but clearly this person had some sort of vendetta against her, for they seemed to pick the exact shift she was working everyday she was present. She knew they (he) didn’t call when she wasn’t working because everyone had pointed it out. Rey had thus come to a conclusion that she had a stalker, and from there on, let Finn or Jess deliver instead of herself.

  
Rey knew it was a man because of his deep, vibrating voice. It was lilting and quite smooth, the kind of voice an English professor might possess. He ordered the same thing every night, a small veggie pizza and a box of chicken wings to go with. No drink, no sauces. His name was Ben, no last name, just Ben. Rey had never delivered to his place before, at first because she was intimidated by the eerily relaxed tone of his voice, and then later because of her fear of being murdered.  
She ignored Finn’s promises about how it was just a pale-faced man who probably lived alone and did not know how to cook. Jess insisted the man was actually quite cute, in a ‘hot professor’ kind of way. They both agreed that he was an insanely good tipper, Jess had come back in multiple instances clutching a fifty dollar bill and hollering about how he’d make a great sugar daddy. These things soothed Rey’s anxiety a bit, but she still refused to deliver to him.

  
At first the only people working that night had been Rey, and the chef, Plutt. He ogled her from behind the counter every now and then, and she shot daggers at him until he looked away. Nothing out of the ordinary. A few moments later an out of breath Jess scrambled through the door, holding her jacket up to her chest. “I am so sorry, Rey. Traffic.” She apologized breathlessly, though Rey didn't see why she had to, considering no one came in.

  
“It’s alright. You didn't miss anything.”

  
“Not even your favorite caller?” Jess teased, resulting in Rey’s face heating up.

  
She balled her fists slightly and was about to retort when the phone rang behind her. She jumped only slightly before glaring at Jess one last time and picking up the phone. “Hello, Galaxy Pizza’s! How may I help you?” Rey asked in her faux cheery voice that was reserved for customers.

  
She watched as Jess ran to the other phone line to listen in on the conversation

  
“Same as always.” The deep voice mumbled.

  
“Veggie and chicken wings?” Rey asked, to confirm his order.

  
“Yes...why don’t you ever deliver?”

  
Rey was taken aback by his question and it took her a moment to form a reply. “E-Excuse me?” She stuttered.

  
“Everytime I call, you pick up, but you’ve never once actually delivered. And I know you’re a delivery person because only delivery people are allowed to take calls.” He answered, stating everything as if it were a fact. And they were. All of them.

  
Rey pondered about how he knew their policies and how he could distinguish her voice from the others. Then it hit her. The only other delivery people were Finn and Jess. One of whom was a male, and the other a female with an American accent. Her eyes widened and she looked over at Jess, who looked equally shocked and confused.  
Rey cleared her throat, deciding she was not going to let this blunt man scare her over the phone. “Does it matter?” She asked firmly.

  
“No, just a question.” He said, a hint of bemusement evident in his usually monotone voice.

  
It annoyed Rey greatly. She had no idea why, but the way he’d answered made it sound like he knew she was intimidated. “I’ll be there in 10.” She hissed, narrowing her eyes at the phone as if it were him.

  
“Great.”

  
She slammed the phone down forcefully and made her way to the back. “A small veggie and chicken wings to go.” She called at Plutt, who scrambled away from his phone the moment he heard her.

  
“Wait are you going to-” Jess began, before Rey snatched her delivery hat and fixated it on her own head.

  
“Yes, I am. The twat practically dared me. What an ass.” She muttered, untying her apron and tossing it over a chair.

  
Jess gave her a lopsided grin and threw her the keys. “I guess those stories about you in high school playing truth or dare weren’t exaggerations. I now owe Finn ten bucks for not believing him.”

  
Rey rolled her eyes and waited with bated breath for Plutt to finish the order. When she heard his warbly voice call out that it was ready, she took the bag and quickly made her way out the front door and into the car. After carefully setting the pizza in the passenger seat, she punched in his address on the GPS, mumbling under her breath angrily as she did so. She arrived in no time, finding herself at an expensive looking apartment complex. She went inside to find a lobby with a front desk person. They noticed her uniform and gestured towards the elevator. When she reached the third floor, she began to compose herself as she walked down the hallway, keeping her eyes peeled for apartment 305.

  
When she came to said apartment she felt her heartbeat escalate, even though there was no reason for it to. It’s just another delivery, like you always do, She told herself before raising her hand and knocking on the door. 30 seconds passed until she knocked again, a bit louder this time. “Come in!” A loud voice boomed, presumably the notorious Ben.

  
Rey braced herself and swung open the door, upon entering she noticed no one in the living room. She shut the door behind her and called out, “Hello?”

  
“Inside here.” Ben shouted from a nearby room (should she even call him Ben?). She followed his voice to a large room that seemed to be a study. It was, for lack of better words, grand. 2 out of 4 of the walls were built in shelves, every inch of which, was stuffed with books and vases. The other walls were covered in paintings, newspaper articles, and framed photographs. In the middle of the room there was a portrait sofa the color of fresh snow, accompanied by many little pillows, all with different monotone colors that matched the heavy drapes. She had to admit, the guy had taste.

  
“Ah, the infamous Rey.” Ben’s voice was louder than it had been on the phone, and a lot clearer. Which made sense, but still shook Rey to the core. She realized that she was in this strange man’s home, in a room with him, with the door closed. She didn’t even have her cellphone on her.

  
She cleared her throat. “How do you know my name?” She tried her hardest not to let her voice shake.

  
“Name tag, sweetheart.” He removed his large reading glasses from his face, inspiring Rey to get a better look at him.

  
Despite being enraged at his audacity to call her pet names, she stepped forward and surveyed his face. He was attractive, as her co-workers had insisted. He had dark brooding eyes, long black hair, and did in fact have a professor vibe to him.

  
She approached the desk he was sitting behind and wordlessly set the food down in front of him. Leaning over his desk, she turned one of his many papers towards her and scanned over it before turning it back. Rey looked up at him and noticed his eyes raking over her features. She blushed, despite herself, and stood up straight again. “Nice place.” She remarked, doing everything to avoid looking at him until she had to take the money.

  
“When did you come to America? Your accent is quite strong.” He inquired, narrowing his eyes questionably at her the way you might look at a puzzle or an extremely difficult math equation.

  
“High school.” She informed him, confused as to how this had come up.

  
“How old are you?”

  
“Nineteen.”

  
He tilted his head at her calculatingly. “I’m 28.”

  
“Good to know.” Rey retorted in an uncaring tone, though she was wondering.

  
He finally rose and Rey was suddenly aware of her hand drumming against his desk. He walked around the desk and towards her. She nearly flinched, painstakingly remembering previous encounters with equally tall and intimidating men. To her surprise however, he laid his large hand on top of hers gently, stilling her fingers.  
Rey lifted her head slowly and was met by his burning gaze. The moment lasted a couple seconds before she croaked, “Money?”

  
As if remembering himself he stepped back and reached into his pants pocket, pulling out his wallet. She noticed his attire, which she found quite spiffy. He wore a cream colored sweater, a white collar peeking out over the top and navy blue slacks. His sleeves were rolled up, revealing strong forearms.

  
She realized she was doing a great impression of Plutt the Pervert, and quickly looked down at her feet as he drew out the money. He finally pressed a single, crisp hundred dollar bill into her hand. She opened her mouth to protest because it was a 12 dollar meal, but he quickly silenced her with a look and headed back to his desk.  
Rey picked up her pizza delivery bag and made her way to the door, only turning back once to look at him. He looked awfully lonely against the background of his dark drapes. She was surprised he didn’t have family or friends to be with a couple days before Christmas.

  
“Need anything else?” She asked, expecting him to ask her to shut the door or take out the trash like most of her customers usually did. She needed good reviews for a pay raise and if that meant checking out someone’s broken laptop or playing a game of UNO with a home alone teenager, she was up for it.

  
“I don’t suppose I can pay for companionship.” Ben spoke, his soft voice shaking her from her thoughts.

  
“You’d have to call up an escort for that.” Rey joked, studying his expression.

  
“Good idea. I’ll be sure to do that.” He smiled for the first time, making Rey smile in return.

  
“Goodnight, Rey.”

  
She nodded her head at him and quickly made her way out of the study. She let herself out of the apartment, not daring to breathe until she was on the elevator.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which poe attempts to seduce finn, and rey is still confused as to what ben wants from her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres the finnpoe you guys were promised, theres more to come of course ! also please refrain from commenting mean things, if you don't like my story you do not have to read it. aside from that, you guys left the loveliest comments so thank you! they motivated me to start working on this immediately.

Poe Dameron is a mess. Rey should know, he’s her roommate after all. He’s messy and loud and an overall trainwreck. Rey still loves him with all her heart however, though sometimes she wish she didn’t. Especially when he roamed the house, shirtless, crying about how he wishes Finn were his. It was pathetic really. Rey had introduced him to Finn months ago, as soon as she had met him. She liked Finn, thought he was a refreshing break of happiness in her usual routine. She didn’t think that Poe would make it his life goal to seduce the poor guy. Finn didn’t seem to mind, or at least didn’t make a big deal of it. 

“Is he straight? Is that the problem? Or am I just not his type?” Poe moaned from his place on the sofa. He was shirtless, as usual, and dangling over the armrest. 

“Finn’s definitely not straight.” Rey scoffed, thinking about the countless times he’d fawned over some attractive man in and out of work. “Must be the latter.” She added, just to spite him.

Rey knew that was a lie. Poe was the kind of person that was everyone’s type. He was sweet, charismatic, funny, and wildly attractive. If Finn didn’t have any feelings for him, Rey would be thoroughly shocked. 

Poe sat up and glared at her. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready for work?” He tutted, gesturing to her clothes that lay on the dinner table. 

Rey checked the old watch that clung to her wrist. “Want to give me a ride? You’ll get to see the love of your life.” She teased, grabbing her work shirt and visor. 

“Fine. But only because I have nothing better to do.” Poe answered immediately, resulting in a smug smile crossing Rey’s face. 

“Oh shut up.”

Despite his antics, Rey was immensely grateful for Poe. If Rey hadn’t met Poe, she’d probably be homeless. She’d found an ad for a roommate online and at first had had her doubts, but after meeting Poe, it was hard to be scared of him. He’d paid her share of the rent when she was having a hard time getting a job and paying for her school textbooks. They made a great team, she had to admit. The future astronaut and mechanic. She didn’t want things to change anytime soon.  
___  
“2 large cheese pizzas and a large box of spicy chicken wings, oh and ranch. And a sprite- no wait a coke. Make up your mind, Luke.” Ben’s usually calm tone sounded stressed and annoyed. Rey thought it might have to do with the people talking animatedly in the background. She smirked at the idea of Ben having to please someone who wasn’t himself. She thought he wouldn’t be very good at it.

“2 large cheese, large spicy wings, ranch, and a coke?” Rey repeated.

“Precisely.” Ben answered, seeming to have calmed down a bit. “Will you be delivering?”

“Maybe.” Rey replied, curious as to why he cared. “Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering.” He hummed, that familiar hint of bemusement and challenge evident in his tone. 

It’d been weeks since the first time she’d been to Ben’s home. Every time she entered his building, the same nervous feeling filled her stomach, accompanied by a strange sense of enthrallment. She’d go in to find the door unlocked and him calling to her from his study. He was always surrounded by mounds of paper and books. Ben would jump up at the sight of her and strike up small talk as he gracefully pulled out his wallet and paid her the amount due along with a surplus of money he considered her tip. She wondered if she should tell him that his tips are what’s kept her from starving these last couple weeks, but decided against it, her pride getting in the way. If Rey were being honest to herself, she’d admit that she was attracted to this strange man. But Rey was very good at lying to herself, so that probably wouldn’t be happening anytime soon. 

She was quick with making her way to his place, not even bothering to double check the address on her GPS. She went up the elevator, practicing what she’d say to herself. When she made it to the apartment, the door swung open before she could open it herself. A short woman snatched the boxes from her hand. “Thank god.” She moaned, before setting it on the dining table. Rey walked in with the ranch and drink in hand, wondering if she’d knocked on the right apartment. She set it down before looking around to find three other figures sitting on the large chairs. One distinct build she recognized as belonging to Ben, who jumped up (per usual), and rushed towards her.   
“I didn’t think you were going to come.” He hissed, pulling her aside. 

Rey was taken back by many things. For one, the sound of severity in his tone. He sounded like he’d been caught stealing or hiding a dead body. Second, was of course how quickly he’d grabbed her wrist, as if he’d done it a million times and was comfortable with it. Rey didn’t know how that made her feel. The last thing she thought was weird, were the three older people in his home. Ben had never once had company when he’d ordered. She knew for a fact he lived in a two bedroom apartment, one for his study, and one where he slept. So there was no way these people lived here. He’d once told her he wasn’t in contact with most of his family, but yet here were a group of people too old to be his friends. There was a tall man who was clad in a leather jacket and jeans. He looked tired, but watched the woman set plates on the table with a large smile. The next man was shorter, and his brown hair was tinged with gray. He had a full beard, which he scratched as he surveyed Rey and Ben. Last but not least, the woman who moved like she was Rey’s age. She glided from the kitchen to the dining room, bringing out glasses and plates and napkins as if they were eating a Thanksgiving dinner rather than pizza and chicken wings. Rey could tell she had been a rather attractive young woman, as she was still beautiful in a regal way. She looked a tad bit like the bearded man, but dressed a hell of a lot better. She was the kind of person Rey had always wanted as a mother. 

She was shaken from her thoughts by Ben placing a hundred dollar bill into her other palm. “Leave while you can.” He whispered as if he were in a horror movie.

It took all of Rey’s patience to stop herself from laughing out loud. This was ridiculous, really. “Who are they?” She asked, watching as they were ushered to the table by the short woman. 

Ben sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. “My parents and uncle.” He muttered, ignoring his mother calling his name.

“And they’re all here because?” Rey trailed, still trying to fathom the fact that two out of those three people were Ben’s parents. 

“The publishing of my new book.” He mumbled, which Rey thought was very out of character. Ben did not mumble or mutter, he spoke clearly and always sounded well prepared.

“You're kidding, right?” Rey didn’t exactly know what kind of job he worked, she always assumed he was a scholar or worked some boring desk job. She’d never pegged him for the novelist type, and he must be pretty good, judging from where he lived. Besides, Rey loved reading. Surely she’d recognize a local author named Ben whose work was probably depressing.

He sighed again, this time it was a more uneven, distressed intake of breath. “No, I am not.” And then as if reading her mind, “I have a pseudonym. Kylo Ren.”

Rey raised an eyebrow. “Cute.” 

Ben rolled his eyes and Rey first realized how close he was exactly to her face. “It’s not cu-don’t you have a job to get to?” He snapped, resulting in Rey chuckling at his frustration. Messing with Ben was great entertainment for her. He did have a point though, Finn must be wondering if she’d been kidnapped. 

“Right then.” Rey answered, after clearing her throat and tugging her arm away from his grip. “I’d better leave.”

“Wait, are you upset? Please don't be upset.” Ben pleaded abruptly, grabbing her arm again. 

“I’m not upset, I’ve got to get back to work, like you said.”

“That’s what they say when they’re upset.” A voice called. It was the leather jacket guy, dangling a slice of pizza in one hand and gripping a flask in the other. 

“Shut up, dad.” Ben called over his shoulder, sounding like a teenager. “I’ll talk to you later alright, Rey?” 

Rey wanted to inform him that they didn’t have each others numbers, but decided against it. Instead she replayed the sound of her name rolling off his lips. She liked it very much.

That night, as soon as Rey got home, she looked up ‘Kylo Ren’. She read an excerpt from one of his works and was admittedly astonished. She went online and ordered a copy of one of his more famous novels, A New Hope.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which rey and ben share breakfast and have a hard time planning a platonic date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late reply! i have this thing where i want every chapter to be interesting and i was writing i noticed there wasn't much conflict. don't forget to leave kudos and comments! it make my heart burst when you guys leave sweet things for me to look at!

Maz’s Diner was a short block away from Rey and Poe’s apartment which was an absolute blessing. Rey stalked there after her classes and before her shift at work. She looked forward to an evening of coffee and people watching before having to go home and deal with the mess that was Poe Dameron and her studies. She’d even brought a book to read in case she got bored, in her messenger bag was a brand new copy of A New Hope. She was excited to begin the novel while downing caffeine. What she didn’t expect was to find Ben (Or should she say Kylo Ren) sitting in a booth by the window, twirling a straw in his fingers as he looked down at the novel he was reading. She tightened her coat around herself and made her way to the table, before sliding into the seat across from him and propped her face up using her hands. 

“Fancy seeing you here.” Rey teased, before leaning over and plucking a strawberry from his plate of half-eaten crepes. 

Ben watched her with a small, amused smile. Rey noticed he didn’t smile much, so it felt satisfactory to boast to Jess and Finn whenever Ben showed her a sliver of his bright teeth. “I could say the same for you.” He retorted, before raising a large hand. A waitress scurried over, pulling her pad out of her apron. 

“What can I get you?” She asked, looking between the both of them. 

“Just one black coffee.” Rey insisted, giving her a smile. 

“And another plate of crepes,” Ben added, his eyes still fixated on Rey.

“Alright then.” The waitress hummed, walking back into the kitchen, the door swinging behind her. 

Rey turned back to Ben. He looked a bit untidy, which was awfully strange considering he normally never had a hair out of place. Speaking of which, his dark hair was unruly and curled around his ears in a sort of cute way. He looked like he’d just woken up and there was a spot of cream in the corner of his mouth. Rey leaned over and used the pad of her thumb to brush it away. He looked like he might flinch, before realizing what she was doing. He angled his face towards her and leaned forward as well. Rey flushed as she pulled away, wiped the cream onto a napkin and sat back in her seat. 

“So, what brings you here-” She began, looking back up at him.

“Can I have your number?” Ben said suddenly, cutting her off as if it couldn't wait. “I mean before some force of nature whisks you away again and I’m left with no way of contacting you.” 

Rey reached into her back pocket and pulled out her cracked cell phone. She’d been meaning to buy a new one for months, but never really had the cash to buy one she wanted. Besides, there were more important things than a new phone, for example, lunch. As she handed it to Ben, the waitress returned and set the crepes and coffee in front of her. Rey thanked her and snatched up the fork from the table and dug in, watching as Ben put his number into her phone. When he was through he stared at her phone for a moment before sliding it back across the table. 

“Your food’s not going to disappear, you know.” He stated, stabbing a piece of his own meal. 

“I’m hungry.” Rey insisted defensively, trying to slow down. 

“Clearly,” Ben said, narrowing his eyes slightly as he forked a strawberry. “What’s your last name?”

“Kenobi.” She answered in between bites. She never knew her parents, having been dropped off at an orphanage as a child. She isn’t even sure of her birthday. Her last name was merely a title she needed. It wasn’t a sensitive topic for her, though she avoided it because she didn’t enjoy being pitied. Rey didn’t mind Ben asking, he didn’t seem like the kind of person to pity. “What’s yours? Your real one.” She added after a beat, just to irk him.

“Solo. Ben Solo.”

“Fitting.”

“I suppose.”

Rey gave him a solitary nod and looked back down at her almost finished breakfast. Ben had this way of staring Rey down that unnerved her completely. She didn’t know how to feel and it made her torn, part of her thought that she should know better. This man was a stranger. Sure she’d been to his home countless times and has shared many conversations with him, but she virtually knew nothing about him. Before now she didn’t even know his last name. It was foolish of her to join him for breakfast and even hope for something she knew couldn’t happen. Still, she felt indescribably attracted to this strange man whose eyes seemed to devour her. She felt wanted. Something she hadn’t felt for a while, possibly never before. It was absolutely ridiculous.

“Dinner.” He said suddenly, shaking her from her thoughts.

And he’s always so demanding, Rey thought, lifting her head. “Pardon me?” 

“Sorry,” He said, cringing at himself, “I mean, would you like to have dinner with me sometime?” He lowered his voice this time, trying to sound more inviting instead of commanding. Rey didn’t have the heart to tell him he still sounded as if he were threatening her. 

“Cutting right to the chase, are we now?” 

Ben faltered, his face falling. “Am I supposed to take you out for coffee first? I’m not sure what-”

Rey interrupted him with a loud laugh. With every sentence he spoke, Rey could sense that Ben had not attempted to woo many women. She didn’t even know if this was an attempt. This could be him wanting to be her friend. She got the vibe he hadn’t many of those. “You’re fine. I just choose to be difficult sometimes.”

Ben looked less on edge as he nodded and took a sip of his coffee. “Comforting. So is that a yes?”

“Yes, I’ll go to dinner with you.” 

“Good.” He said, staring at her over his cup. “I’ll message you.” 

Rey didn’t like the feeling of waiting for something with bated breath. She didn’t like waiting in general. It was something she’d grown accustomed to, having to wait to hear back whether she’d been accepted to school, if she could receive her citizenship, if she were allowed to live on her own. She didn’t know why, but having to wait for Ben to set a time for them to go out made her feel incompetent. As if she weren’t allowed to have a say in it. “No.” She said before she could stop herself. 

“Excuse me?” Ben asked, sounding confused. Rey thought he was the kind of person to not be challenged much. If he wanted to be friends with her, he’d have to get used to that. 

“Why don’t we plan the dinner right now? I have a job and school, you know.” 

Ben set his cup down and leaned back in his seat, folding his arms across his chest. “Very well. When exactly, do you think is an appropriate time for me to treat you to a meal?”

Rey stalled. She hadn’t thought this far out, if he asked her what she wanted to eat next, she’d scream. “Tomorrow?” 

Ben yawned, bringing a hand up to his face before shutting her down: “Can’t.”

Rey paused, waiting for him to elaborate. When he simply sat there and stared at her, she realized she’d have to initiate for an answer. “Why?” She asked, narrowing her eyes at the surprisingly stubborn man. 

“Book signing.” He stated, and Rey was suddenly reminded of the 900-page novel he’d written sitting on her lap. 

“When and where?” She inquired. 

Ben’s eyebrows furrowed slightly as he tried to understand why she’d ask. “At the bookstore on 13th, from four pm to nine.” 

“Lovely. What are you doing on Thursday?”

Ben shrugged, promptly forgetting his earlier confusion. “Not much, I have to pick my mother up from the airport and drop her off at a hotel. Aside from that, nothing.” 

Rey smiled slightly at the thought of the eccentric lady from the last time she’d been to Ben’s. “Perfect. I hope you can cook because I’ll be at yours after my shift.”

“You want me to cook for you?” Ben asked bewilderedly, his voice raising an octave.

Rey shrugged, subtly mimicking the way Ben had moments ago (she thought he may have noticed because he let out a little huff of breath that made him seem frustrated). “Unless you don’t know how? In that case, I can just bring a pizza and those chicken wings you like and call it a day-” 

“No.” Ben all but growled, making Rey look up quickly. “I will cook for you, and you will enjoy it. Because I am a good cook.” 

“Chef.”

“Same thing.” 

Rey gave him an innocent grin before leaning over and bopping his nose. “I knew you wouldn’t disappoint.” 

As she rose from her seat and adjusted her coat she heard him sigh and mutter under his breath. “Believe me, I would if I could.”


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which rey visits kylo ren and has dinner with ben solo (or at least attempts to)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for the wonderful comments! hearing your theories is so nice and i look forward to the things you'll leave on this chapter, you wonderful people. this chapter is a bit longer than usual, but i had to fit so much in it. enjoy!

“What are you doing here?” Ben asked, gritting his teeth as he capped the marker he’d used to sign the previous comer’s book.

“Kylo, honey, the girl’s obviously here to have her book signed. It’d be an awful shame if she waited this long and didn’t receive what she came for.” A tall, blonde woman set a pale, manicured hand on Ben (or Kylo’s) broad shoulder, trying to calm him down. “Also, there are people waiting so if you’d be a dear and just- get on with it.” She added, her pink lips pressing into an agitated, firm line.

Rey noticed the way his knuckles gripped the sharpie tightly before unclenching it gradually. She normally would find great pleasure in being the source of annoyance to Ben Solo, but admittedly felt kind of bad for putting him in a position where his agent would have to condescendingly call him pet names to avoid tantrums. Rey had googled Kylo Ren multiple times since the last time they spoke and was shocked to find the first article praising his work while simultaneously insulting his person. She found that this was the case with every single person who’d written about him. She’d wanted to know why, and even though she knew she probably shouldn’t, she searched up his name again. This time with the keyword ‘scandal’. Videos surfaced of the calm and collected Ben throwing punches and screaming in public. They scared her at first, but at the end of the seventh scandal, she found herself shaking her head disappointingly. She had to admit that Ben shouting in a gruff voice had made her feel some kind of way. She quickly dismissed the feeling when Poe walked past her computer, watched for a couple seconds and let out a low whistle. “He looks and sounds like a lunatic. You see someone like that and you walk the other way, Rey.” Rey flushed and promptly closed out of the tab. 

Now she stood in front of the so-called lunatic, looking down at him with a weak smile. Oh, if Poe could see her now. She reached into her bag and pulled out the novel before sliding it across the table to Solo. 

He wrinkled his nose at her before taking the book and opening it to a random page. “You haven’t read it yet.” He noted gruffly. 

“I’m on page 678.” Rey huffed, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, sort of offended at his accusing tone. What he was accusing her of she didn’t know, his voice still irked her.

Ben looked up and Rey could swear his eyes softened as he gave her a once-over. He looked back down at the book and opened it to inside the cover. He scrawled a quick message and his signature before shutting it and holding it out to her. Their fingers brushed as she took it back and tucked it into her bag. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” She asked hopefully, still feeling bad about showing up without telling him.

Ben gave her an almost smile, his lips turning up slightly before dipping back down in his usual stoic way. “Of course.” He confirmed, his eyes catching hers. 

“Good.” She nodded, awkwardly fumbling with a piece of hair that slipped from her bun.

“I like your hair today, I don’t think I see you without your ponytail enough.” He said softly, throwing Rey off. 

He was a strange man, Ben Solo. One moment he seemed like he might pin her to a wall if he were standing and the next he’s complimenting her hair like they’re at a high school dance. It was enchanting and confusing at the same time. 

Rey blushed slightly at him noticing and shrugged sheepishly. “Well, you don’t see me out of work enough.”

Ben narrowed his eyes slightly as he brought a hand up to cup his own chin. “Rey Kenobi, if I didn’t know you better I might say you were inviting me to take you out. But that can’t be the case, because last time I suggested it, you shot me down.” He added hotly, leaning back in his seat.

Rey opened her mouth, her cheeks flushing as she got ready to shoot back a response. Before she could put the man in his place, the tall woman leaned over Ben’s shoulder. 

“Times up, sweetheart.” She said, nodding her head sympathetically at Rey as if she were some superfan.

“Wait-” Ben began, looking as if he were going to argue with his agent. 

Rey waved him off. “It’s fine, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“What if I want to talk to you before tomorrow?” He asked angrily, his cheeks turning oddly pink. 

Rey let out a short laugh before noticing Ben’s serious expression, she straightened and coughed. “I’ll text you.” She assured him, before giving him one last smile and walking away.  
__  
Rey arrived home after work to find Poe and Finn in a very compromising position. 

As she unlocked the door and let herself in, she had two things on her mind. One, what she was going to wear to Ben’s and two, what groceries to bring. She’d baked a cake earlier and boxed it for their dessert (hopefully Ben enjoyed french vanilla). Ben had texted her to ask how she felt about alfredo, shrimp, and garlic toast. Rey was surprised how seriously he was taking the whole ‘cook for me’ thing. Rey was joking, of course, knowing she was going to bring some ingredients so that they could cook together instead. That was sure to make a memorable first (platonic) date.

She wandered into her room to pick out her outfit. After not being able to decide between a simple black fit and flare or a red velvet scalloped v-neck dress, she walked over to Poe’s room. Not bothering to knock on the door, she opened it to find Finn and Poe sitting on the edge of the latter’s bed. Poe’s hand rested over Finn’s in the space between them, his right one cupping Finn’s cheek as he leaned in gingerly. Rey clumsily tried to shut the door as soon as she noticed the situation, not wanting to be (as Poe would say) a ‘cockblock’. It was too late, however, and the damage had been done. Finn leaped up, clearing his throat and looking over at Rey.

“Rey, I thought you were at work,” Poe said, his teeth clenched as he shot her a death glare.

“Jess let me leave early. I-I’ve got that date.” She said awkwardly, holding the two dresses to her chest. 

“A date?” Poe and Finn asked in unison, their almost kiss slipping everyone’s minds for a second. 

“Yeah,” Rey said, a bit more comfortable, “at his place.”

Finn let out a low whistle as he stood up and gently clapped Rey on the back. “If you're going to his, might as well wear the velvet.” He advised, giving her a cheeky wink.   
Poe rose as well, except he wasn’t grinning. “First date at his place? I mean I’m assuming it’s your first date because you haven’t mentioned going on any other dates with this person whom I don’t know-”

“Relax, buddy. Rey’s a smart girl.” Finn said, attempting to mollify Poe’s rage. “She’s not going to do anything she doesn’t want to. Right, Rey?” He asked giving her a look. 

Rey pursued her lips before nodding her head vehemently. “Absolutely.” She agreed. “What do you think of the red dress, Poe?” She added, with a giddy smile. 

“I think it’s lovely.” He relented, rolling his eyes slightly, a small smile threatening to paint itself across his face.   
__

Rey had knocked on the same long door for what felt like millions of times, this time, however, the prospect of knowing Ben was waiting for her in that large kitchen of his instead of his lovely yet messy study made her heart beat erratically. It shouldn’t be doing that, and Rey knew it. So why did she have this weird aching in her chest when she thought of cooking with Solo and then having dinner with him, all while engaging in conversation that wasn’t just small talk? It filled her with nerves.

She lifted her hand, clenched her fist, and rapped softly. Then she took a step back, not quite sure what she was anticipating. The door swung open after a pregnant pause in which Rey began to doubt herself. Ben leaned in the doorway, raking over her body with keen eyes as he usually did. His eyes fell on her face and they dipped, lingering on her lips. “Red lipstick? I like it.” He noted, licking his own lips appreciatively.

Rey felt her face grow bright red and she shoved past him, entering the apartment. Slipping off her jacket, (and ignoring the smile that flickered across Solo’s face) she looked around. She didn’t know what she expected, but it certainly was not a table set for two complete with unlit candles and a vase of flowers. She turned to face Ben, who had shut the door. “Wow.” She said.

“I couldn’t light the candles because I only have matches and they weren’t agreeing with me and I couldn’t run out and grab a candlestick lighter because what if you showed up when I was gone and-” Ben began to ramble, looking down at the unlit candles with a frown.

“Ben.”  
It suddenly became very clear to Rey that Ben might be just as nervous as her. She hadn’t really thought of that, though she’d speculated he didn’t ask people to dinner much earlier. For a renowned author, his social skills were considerably lacking.

“Yes.”

“It’s perfect,” Rey assured him, wandering into the kitchen and setting down her large bag and the boxed cake.

She opened the cake to show off her creation. “French vanilla.” She announced proudly, resulting in a soft applause from Ben. She chose to ignore his sarcastic clapping and took pride in the mesmerized expression on his face. 

“Are you sure you didn’t buy that?” He teased as she began to unpack the groceries. “Because it very much looks like you bought that.”

“I can’t tell if that’s your ill-conceived attempt at complimenting me or if you really are challenging Rey Kenobi’s baking skills,” Rey said, cocking an eyebrow as she eyed the water boiling on the stovetop. 

Ben leaned against the counter, studying Rey, with a confused expression. “I suppose I can’t say both, also what are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” She asked, opening a cabinet and taking out a bottle of salt. She sprinkled some over the pot of water, before picking up the penne pasta she’d set on the counter and pouring that into the water. 

“Doing what I explicitly stated I would do,” Ben argued, straightening and lunging for a wooden spoon that Rey had begun reaching for. “Back off, Kenobi.” 

Rey sighed and folded her arms. “Are you always this childish?” 

“Me?” Ben lowered the spoon and glared at her. “Childish? You’re the one who challenged me and is now going against that.” 

Rey threw her hands up.”I thought we could cook together.” 

Ben snarled at her in a way that Rey could not believe was serious, he looked like a child getting aggressive about their pee wee football game. “Well, you thought wrong, darling.” He said, plucking the container of alfredo sauce out of her hands. “I am going to cook for you, and you are going to watch. Thanks for bringing the cilantro and garlic, I knew I was missing something.” He added the last sentence after a beat. 

“Glad to be of help.” Rey quipped, rolling her eyes.

She watched as he furiously shook the container and twisted it open. He was beginning to ready the mushrooms and shrimp when a loud knock on the door scared them both. 

“Did you go through with the whole ordering pizza thing?” Ben asked, suddenly turning on her.

“What- Why would I-? Jesus, Ben.” Rey ignored his accusations and stalked towards the door. 

“Benjamin Solo, is that a girl?” A muffled voice called from the other side of the wood. 

Rey abruptly turned to look at Ben. “Your mom.” She mouthed and Ben facepalmed. He dropped the mushrooms onto the counter and held up a hand to prevent Rey from opening the door. Rey stood back and watched as Ben unlocked the door and stuck his head out.

“Mom, what are you doing here?” Ben asked so harshly it made Rey wince.

His mother pushed past him, a small suitcase in hand. “I got into a fight with the hotel manager, demanded my money back, and here I am. Is a mother not allowed to visit her only son?” She said before her eyes fell on Rey. 

“Oh dear, am I interrupting something?”


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which their date is ruined or bettered (depends on who you ask)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keep those lovely comments coming! i love you guys and the response this story is receiving.

Leia Organa was nothing like her son. 

For starters, upon noticing Rey’s dress, her first instinct was to tell Rey how lovely she looked. Something Ben Solo probably did not have the guts to do. Secondly, she smiled. She traded small smiles, wide grins, secretive smirks. Her lips were either completely turned down or in a hardened frown. Never neutral. Ben, Rey found, was prone to keeping his mouth set in a straight line. He was like some sort of bomb, ticking. Rey wondered what would happen when he ungripped his emotions and let an explosion occur. She wondered if it’d only affect him or if the bomb would result in a large range of destruction. Whether it’d result in another infamous scandal or if it’d reach her if she (or when she) got close to him. 

“Oh dear,” Leia said, bringing a hand up to her mouth, “am I interrupting something?” 

Ben let out an exasperated huff of breath through his nose and gestured to the set table. “What do you think, mother?” 

“You're on a date? With her?” Leia asked as if she couldn’t wrap her head around it. 

Rey began to wonder what the last part of the statement was supposed to mean when Leia opened her mouth again. 

“She’s a gem, I wonder what you did to catch her attention,” Leia said, giving Rey a smile so sweet it made Rey smile back, despite her wanting to say that she and Ben were not dating. 

More like what I did to get his attention, Rey thought, thinking back to when she was convinced Ben was an obsessive stalker who was out to get her. She never really got around to asking him how he knew about her schedule. She made a mental note to ask him later.

Ben cleared his throat to get his mother’s attention. “So where are you staying, mom?”

Leia gave him a look. “Here, obviously. Do I smell french vanilla?”

“Oh, yes. I baked a cake.” Rey answered excitedly, as Ben groaned. 

Leia reached over and patted Rey’s cheek softly. “I adore you already.” She assured her, before walking over to look at the cake. 

Rey watched as Leia studied the cake happily, turned towards her and gave her a thumbs up. Rey felt her chest fill up with something that felt a lot like longing. She wished she had a mother. The bond between mothers and their children was one of the few things Rey yearned for. It didn’t help that Leia felt like someone Rey was destined to know. She barely knew this woman, yet stood there, craving her approval. She wondered if Ben took joy in knowing that this wonderful person was his. She doubted it. Maybe deep inside, where he kept the rest of his emotions bottled. He clearly wasn’t upfront with his affection for his mother. Answering her retorts with snapping and agitated noises. Rey thought that if she had the pleasure of having Leia be her mom, she’d be very grateful. 

Rey was startled from her daydreaming by a sizzling sound coming from the stove. Both Rey and Ben ran towards the two pots on the oven top, spoons in hand. 

“Is the pasta okay?” Rey asked, stirring the alfredo sauce.

“Fine,” Ben assured her, turning to find the pasta strainer. 

Leia wandered into the kitchen, an uninterpretable expression covering her face. “Are you two cooking dinner together?” She asked, watching her son struggle to strain the penne.

“Yes.” Rey answered the same time Ben said “No.”

“How lovely.” Leia hummed. “Unableness to agree is a common couple trait.”

Ben snorted as he lifted the empty pot away from the metal strainer. “You should know.”

Rey wondered what that was supposed to mean. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She questioned aloud before she could stop herself. 

Ben turned to look at her with a raised eyebrow. “Let’s just say my childhood involved a lot of yelling.” 

Rey looked back at the pot she was stirring with a swift nod, slightly embarrassed at her blurting. She switched off the heat and turned back around to find Leia and Ben glaring at each other in silence. After a moment, she cleared her throat. “Sauce is ready.”

“The pasta’s ready as well,” Ben informed her, his eyes still trained on his mother.

“Great.” Rey clapped her hands together, wanting to clear the tension. “Let’s eat.”

__

Dinner was not quite as bad as Rey thought it’d be.

Leia and Ben were clearly fighting the urge to snap at each other but were plenty pleasant when speaking to Rey. The only thing Rey didn’t like was her not being able to confront Ben in front of his mother. She wanted to ask him, really, but saying ‘so why were you stalking me’ in front of Leia seemed nerve-wracking and impolite. The pasta was divine and Ben’s garlic toast was surprisingly flavorful and crisp. They sipped wine and ate the cake for dessert. All while successfully keeping a conversation amongst each other. Rey had never had dinner with someone’s parent, in fact, she’d spoken to very little parents. So she wasn’t sure if she’d be liked. Poe was the kind to charm people socks off, parents or not. She bet that Leia would be very fond of Poe Dameron. 

“So, Rey, what do you go to school for?” Leia asked, making Ben look up from his plate and over at Rey.

“I’m going to be an auto technician.” She answered, lifting her wine glass to her lips. 

The corner of Ben’s mouth turned up a little before he glanced back down at his half-eaten cake. 

“You must be a smart girl,” Leia said, smiling at her from over her glass.

“I like to think so.” 

Ben opened his mouth as if he were about to say something when a loud ringing startled them all. Rey’s ringtone was blaring from the kitchen countertop. Ben, who was closest, rose and grabbed it for her. He briefly looked at the name before handing it to her. “Finn.” He said. “With a heart.”

Rey flushed. “Unnecessary.” 

She was surprised to find several texts from the concerned Finn and Poe. She checked the time and realized she’d been over at Ben’s for several hours. She stood up, her cheeks turning rosy. “I should head home, it’s getting late and my roommate is worried.” 

“I’ll walk you downstairs,” Ben said hastily, setting his fork down and leaping up. “Excuse us, mom.”

“It was lovely meeting you, Mrs. Organa,” Rey said, reaching out a hand. 

Leia pulled her into a brisk hug, patting Rey’s back softly. “Next time I’m in town, I’ll be sure to see you.” Leia smiled, making Rey’s chest fill with a warm feeling. 

“Of course,” Rey answered.

She and Ben walked out the door and into the hall. She felt impossibly small walking next to him as if it’d never occurred to her how tall Ben really was. She supposes it hadn’t been that obvious since he was usually half hidden behind his desk. Now, it was quite clear how much taller than Rey he was. 

“I apologize,” Ben said, sticking his hands in the pocket of his pants.

Rey noticed how nice he looked in a collared sweater and dark blue trousers. He always looked nice, however, so it wasn’t that much of a surprise. She still enjoyed looking at him, because really, who doesn’t enjoy looking at well-dressed men?

“For what?” She asked, clutching her jacket in her arms.

“My mother showing up.” He said as they waited for an elevator. “That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“It’s fine,” Rey insisted, “I like your mom.”

Ben looked over at her with a surprised expression. “Really?”

Rey didn’t know why he was that surprised. Leia was great. A magnificent woman, really. “Yes.”

The doors to an elevator opened up and they entered, Rey first and Ben behind her. 

“Regardless, that was not how that was supposed to go,” Ben said quietly. “Does it have to count?”

“What do you mean by count?”

Ben turned to face her, his face dangerously close to hers. Rey noticed how impossibly bright his brown eyes were. They were awfully pretty. She wondered if Ben knew his eyes were pretty. It’d be a shame if he didn’t realize how lovely his eyes were. She wondered if this would be an alright time to inform him. 

“As a first date.” He said, his voice impeccably soft. 

Rey was mesmerized by the complexity of Ben Solo. He got irrationally upset when Rey attempted to steal his thunder, or visit him at a book signing, and she even noticed his nostrils flare when he read Finn’s name aloud. He was always getting so angry, yet moments like these, he softened to the point where he was almost unrecognizable. His mood wavered always. 

“You want to do it over,” Rey stated, finally understanding what he was getting at. 

“If you’ll let me.” 

It was only then that Rey realized she’d been leaning towards him, and he towards her. She wondered what it’d be like to lean up or tug the giant of a man down and press her lips to his. She wondered how Ben would react, if he’d kiss her back softly or promptly devour her the way his eyes did. Rey wondered how his large hands would feel on her waist, if he’d pull her in closer or tighten his hand around her or just lay it there. She wondered if he’d let her run her hands through his hair as she so desperately wanted to. If he’d cup her face with one hand or two or cup it at all. So many things to wonder and only one way to find out. 

As Rey leaned up and Ben leaned down, their lips seconds away from connecting, the door opened and a man with red hair and a curled lip stood there glaring at them. 

“Kylo.” He said presumptuously. “You’ve a room, you know. An entire apartment to yourself, to be exact.”

“Piss off, Hux,” Ben replied, before tugging Rey away by the arm and leading her to the front door.


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which rey and ben redo their date, ends in one being mad at the other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is! sorry i didn't update yesterday, i wasn't feeling motivated. please enjoy and leave lovely comments for me to read! they mean the world and make me update faster.

Rey had never been to an opera. 

In fact, she’d never been to any musical performance of any kind, aside from a concert with Finn a while back. It was some band with a name they couldn’t pronounce and the fee was cheap, so they’d gone and danced to music they both didn’t like. It was sweaty and people were half naked and bumping into her, but for a shining moment, it was fun. She associated that memory with Finn, which by default made it one of her fondest memories. 

When Ben asked her (or more like told her) where their next date would be, she was a bit nervous. Weren’t operas for rich people with too much time on their hands? Nevertheless, Rey was the kind of person to try everything. So she sucked it up, borrowed a fancy black gown and a pretty set of earrings from Jess, and awaited her ride. 

“What are you looking so pretty for?” Poe asked, hanging from the couch as he shoved grapes into his mouth. He tended to do that a lot. It concerned Rey.

“Sit up before you choke and I’m left paying all the rent,” Rey advised, nervously dusting imaginary dirt from the lap of her dress. 

Poe sat up and narrowed his eyes at her. “You didn’t answer my question. Also, that’s morbid.”

“Morbid,” Rey mused, now less nervous about her date and more interested in Poe, “did Finn teach you that?” She teased, cocking a brow at Poe’s word choice. He was a fan of simple words punctuated with curses, so she found it rather odd he was beginning to sound more like her friend. 

Poe scowled at her before tossing a grape up into the air and catching it in his mouth. “I hope you trip on that wonderfully lovely gown.”

“I hope you get a grape lodged in your windpipe.”

Poe rolled his eyes, a faint smiling spreading across his lips. 

Rey’s relationship with Poe Dameron was one akin to a pair of siblings. They teased each other and even occasionally wrestled for a remote or the last doughnut. Traded ‘I hate yous’ without an ounce of truth to them. Truthfully, she wouldn’t trade her future astronaut for anything. And he did help to calm her nerves plenty. This was Ben, not some real-life Bruce Wayne. He could not intimidate her when she knew that he liked to eat strawberry crepes with extra cream for breakfast. 

When Rey received a simple text from Ben (‘Here’), she slipped on her coat, said her farewell to Poe and went out to Ben’s car. Carefully lifting her dress, she slid into the seat and put on her seatbelt, all the while aware of Ben’s eyes on her. When she lifted her head to look at him, he held up a finger before reaching behind his seat and taking out a small bag. He wordlessly handed it to her and waited for her to open it. 

“What’s this?” She asked, holding the expensive looking box far from herself. 

“It’s from my mother, I told her I was taking you to the opera and she would not let me leave the apartment without bringing it to you,” Ben sighed, “open it.”

Rey gingerly opened the small box and was surprised to find a dainty pearl necklace that looked like something out of a movie. “I can’t- How much did this cost?”

“Money isn’t something you should worry about when it comes to my mother,” Ben said, lifting the necklace. “Turn around.”

Rey wanted to demand him to take it back or at least tell her how much it cost, but she couldn’t. This was a gift, and it was rude not to take gifts. And based on what she knows about Leia, the woman would never let her. She’d probably find Rey’s address and mail it to her if Rey tried to give it back. Rey exhaled heavily, cursed rich people in her head and turned around. 

Ben carefully set the necklace around her neck, fumbled with the clasp before finally finishing. His fingers gently brushed the back of her neck, making her skin burn. 

Rey had thought about their almost-kiss for the past two days. Replaying it in her head over and over in class and at work (he hadn’t ordered pizza the past two nights, having Leia over apparently entailed home-cooked meals and fancy restaurants), she was slightly angry at herself for not going through with it. Why did they have to let some angry red-headed man come between their first kiss? It was unfair. Rey was a tad bit grateful though, this gave her time to figure out what she was going to do. Rey Kenobi didn’t do plans, she was heat of the moment. Did things without thinking of the repercussion, it was one way that she and Poe were similar. This situation was tricky, however. What would happen after they kissed? Would they have sex? Go on another date? Then what would follow? Ben Solo being her boyfriend? Rey found it unlikely. 

Her thoughts were banished by Ben’s gruff voice. “Done.” He said.

Rey turned, letting her hair fall as she released it. “It’s beautiful.” She said, running her fingers along the string of pearls.

“You’re beautiful,” Ben mumbled, his eyes trailing up from the necklace to her eyes. 

Rey flushed at the sudden compliment and began to fumble with the buttons on her coat. Ben started the car without another word and then they were off. 

__  
The opera, as Rey quickly noticed, was not that bad. 

As soon as they entered the opera house, Rey was very aware of how out of place she felt. Visually, she fit in and she was extremely grateful for the dress Jess had borrowed her. If she’d shown up in her nice jeans and a top, she’d be so uncomfortable. Everyone wore huge gowns and fancy jewelry, men wore dashing suits in every color. Ben was clad in a tuxedo that fit him nicely, he smiled appreciatively when Rey slipped off her jacket. She stuck her tongue out at him, hiding her face behind the pamphlet so others wouldn’t see. They quickly went to their seats, not wanting to get caught up in conversations with the hoards of people standing around. 

When the opera began, Rey and Ben were forced to cease conversation and pay attention. She didn’t understand the screaming/singing combo, but their voices were nice nonetheless. She enjoyed the amount of drama and death the performance held and was interested in some of the exaggerated fight scenes. She blushed at the lovemaking scenes and heavy make outs, but smiled at some of the declarations of love. Overall, the experience was one she liked. 

Her fingers curled around the pamphlet as she nervously watched the ending fight number. She twisted the piece of paper in her fingers as the two men’s swords clashed repeatedly. When the music got louder and Rey knew they were reaching the climax of the scene, she leaned forward in anticipation, ignoring the small chuckle from Ben. The man Rey was rooting for was stabbed, the fake sword clearly slipped into the crack between his arm and torso. He collapsed dramatically onto the floor, a hand brought up to his wound. The man who had won laughed victoriously and loomed over his victim. Rey wrinkled her nose, clearly, the one on the floor would have won if this were real. She smiled anyway as everyone came out to bow, and she clapped politely before turning to Ben, her mouth already open to comment on the sword fight when he quickly crashed his lips into hers. 

Rey was taken back, and it took her a moment to reciprocate the sudden kiss. His large hand cupped the side of her face, making her cheek burn with warmth. His other hand found a place on her waist, gently laying there momentarily before his fingers curled around her. She snaked a hand into his dark locks, running her fingers through them happily as the kiss deepened. Eventually, Rey came to her senses and shoved Ben away, quickly looking around to see if anyone was appalled by their display. When she turned back to look at him, Ben was grinning wickedly, his eyes bright with what Rey took to be happiness. It was hard to scold him when the man appeared to be on cloud nine. Rey let it slide and grabbed his hand before rising, as everyone else was already making their way out of the large doors. 

“You are terrible.” Rey hissed as soon as they were out in the hall and putting on their coats. 

“I know,” Ben muttered, slinking an arm around her waist and tugging her forward before pressing a chaste kiss to her mouth again. 

Rey pulled away and swatted his hand, blushing despite her anger. “Truly insufferable.” She declared, swiftly buttoning her coat.

“That’s a new one,” Ben said, tilting his head slightly. “Are you ready?” He asked, holding an arm out to her. 

Rey gave him a glare before walking ahead of him. “Where did you park again?” She called over her shoulder, not bothering to turn around.


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which aristotle confronts ben about his feelings and rey takes a test

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ben's p.o.v! sorry for not updating yesterday, i didn't feel too motivated. i hope this makes up for it! please leave comments! they make me write faster and ultimately inspire me

  
Ben Solo didn’t regret things.

It probably ran in the family, his father had told him countless stories about his youth and his career in racing. The great Han Solo didn’t regret a single thing from stealing cigarettes at 17 to intentionally hitting someone’s bumper at 40. His father took responsibility for his actions, but never wished he could take them back. “You fuck up, and you learn,” Ben’s father had always said, “It’s the way of the world.” Even now, as Ben sat across from the loveliest woman he’d ever had the pleasure of meeting, he didn’t regret kissing her two nights ago. He wishes he’d done it more softly instead of practically jumping her, but he didn’t regret it. The way her soft, pink lips had curled into a smile as she clapped at the end of the performance was enough to send him reeling. He’d been preoccupied with staring at her through the first half of the date, and when he tried to pay attention the plot had already been half played out for him to understand it. So he went back to watching Rey react to the opera instead.

To be exact, Ben had wanted to kiss her long before the events of that date. There’d been many moments where he thought that if he weren’t such a coward he’d have pounced her, right then and there. But he didn’t because he really liked Rey, too much to let himself scare her off before he’d had a proper shot. He’d come close to kissing her when they were in the elevator and she had leaned up on her toes. It was adorable, really. He stifled a laugh and leaned down to make it easier for her, but before their lips could connect stupid Hux had had to open his stupid mouth. Then later, in the car, when he’d put the necklace on her. He told her his mother had bought it when really, he’d went shopping with his mother and noticed it. He’d asked his mom what she thought of it and when she approved, he bought it hastily with Rey in mind. Not wanting to seem like he was flaunting his money to her, he assured her it was from Leia. He thought there was an opening for a kiss when she’d turned around, an astonished look on her face as she ran her fingers along the pearls. Then she got shy when he complimented her and looked away.

“Are you really mad at me?” Ben leaned over the table, peering at Rey’s face.

She had her nose in a book as they waited for their breakfast to arrive. She’d told him beforehand that she’d be studying for her exam later, but he thought she was still harboring some sort of resentment towards him after the stolen kiss.

Rey looked up from her auto mechanics book that Ben was sure was absolutely thrilling, and raised her eyebrows at him. “What do you think, Solo?”

  
“I think,” Ben said, reaching over and shutting her book before leaning back in his seat, “That you’re mad at yourself.”

Rey softened her expression as a waitress set down their meals. As soon as she scurried off, Rey turned back to look at Ben with a questioning glare. “For what?”

“Not kissing me first,” Ben stated, shrugging before picking up his fork and knife. “You were to shy to make the first move, so I did. And now you're upset because I stole your thunder.” He teased, finding her quite cute when she was scrunching her nose up at him the way she was now doing.

“That’s ridiculous,” Rey said, shaking her head as she began to dig into her omelet.

Ben swallowed a bite of his strawberry crepes and took a sip of his coffee. “Is it really though?” He drawled, giving her a small smile.

Rey scowled at him. “You’re messing with me. You think this is funny.” She accused, her eyes still boring into him over her glass of orange juice.

“Maybe. I just don’t understand why you’re so upset.”

“You kissed me. In front of hundreds of people. Without asking.”

“It’s not like you didn’t want to kiss me.” He pointed out.

Rey flushed at his bluntness before waving a hand. “That’s not the point. I don’t want to be kissed like that in front of countless people. It’s embarrassing.”

Ben leaned over the table with a sigh. He set a hand over hers on the table, forcing her to look at him. “I apologize. That was insensitive and I shouldn’t have done it.” He said, actually meaning it.

“Good,” Rey said, seeming to relax for the first time since they sat down.

Ben had called her this morning, knowing she had a test later on that she was stressed about. He begged her to let him get her a sufficient breakfast that wasn’t made up of coffee and granola bars. She relented, though still mad, and promised to meet him at Maz’s Diner. Ben thought that if he hadn’t offered food she wouldn’t have come. That didn’t bother him much since he was just glad to be in her presence.

  
Ben didn’t want to sound cliche, but Rey was indeed a ray of sunshine. She brightened his day, no matter how cheesy that sounds. He was ultimately in a better mood around her, and she inspired him with new ideas every time she spoke. She was hopeful when she spoke about her future career with a dreamy look in her eyes. She was funny when she told him stupid one-liners on the phone when he called to order. And she was beautiful, all the time, from when she pretends to trip with his meal and when she asks him curious questions about his novels and when she gives him that damn smile that manages to make his chest ache, just a little. Initially, he thought he'd grow tired of her after a week or so of teasing. How he was mistaken. With every passing minute, Ben found himself more and more interested in her.

“I’ve got to go.” Rey suddenly declared, standing up and slipping on her coat. “I’ve got to catch the bus.”

“I can drive you,” Ben suggested, cursing himself internally for sounding so excited.

Rey slung her bag over her shoulder before bending down to press a soft kiss to his forehead.”I’ve got a bus pass I paid for, Solo. Not gonna let my money go to waste. Next semester you can drive me around.” She promised before taking a deep breath. “Wish me luck.”

Ben smiled up at her, ignoring the way his cheek burned when she pulled away. “In my experience, there’s no such thing as luck.” He countered, trying not to sound too affected by her kiss.

“Ever the optimist.” Rey teased, rolling her eyes before stalking off.

“Good luck,” Ben called as she left the diner. He watched as she passed the window beside him and gave him the finger. He chuckled into his mug, as a confused waitress began cleaning up Rey’s things.

__

  
Ben hated writer’s block.

Glaring at the notebook in front of him, he clicked and unclicked his pen, wanting nothing more than to trash the entire thing or set it on fire or do something. Anything. He tossed the pen across the room and sat up. He wished Rey were here. Whenever she was around he felt calm, relaxed. He didn’t feel like that often, so it was nice. Even his mother thought he was more put together since meeting her. It was embarrassing but painstakingly accurate.

He finally slammed the notebook shut, determined to finish the stupid chapter later. Phasma was being incredibly invasive these last couple days, demanding explanations of why his newest book wasn’t coming along. He’d blow her off with excuses of how he wasn’t feeling well, and ‘relax, I could write several novels in the span of a couple weeks if I really tried’ but she wasn’t having it and he knew he only had so much time until she’d put her foot down and threaten him or something.

Ben knew he ought to get to work, but it was hard to when his mind trailed to Rey every couple minutes. He’d think of a great scenario and start to write it down and then he’d wonder how Rey would react if she were put in that position and suddenly he’s daydreaming of her. It was terrible, really. How dependent he’d become on this girl.

He looked at the watch on his wrist, a gift from one of his father's many trips abroad. It was around 5 pm. Surely, Rey would be home by now. He sat up in his seat and glared at the poster on his wall. Aristotle’s white eyes glared back. Aristotle once said that happiness was the true meaning and purpose of a human’s life. Ben wasn’t sure if he’d ever been truly happy. His childhood was a wreck, and he’s forgiven his parents and has a somewhat normal relationship with either of them, but they couldn’t go back in time. He thinks he’s somewhat successful now, money isn’t a problem, he’s got a roof over his head, and he’s satisfied.

Satisfied. Content. Gratified. Things Ben should be feeling. Still, he couldn’t help but feel like he was missing something. Something critical that would finally fill that hole and make him happy. The aim and end of human existence, said Aristotle, one of the smartest men to walk the Earth. Up to this point, Ben was sure that he’d peacefully continue publishing stories and living alone until he passed away. It didn’t seem like such a bad way to live and eventually die. Ever since meeting Rey, he thought more about his future. Would it be so bizarre of him to find a lover, get married, and maybe even have offspring? Not necessarily with Rey (although he wouldn’t mind), but in general.

Ben sighed loudly and ran a hand through his hair. If only his father could hear him now, he’d probably laugh in his face. Ben with kids? Not if the world were ending. Ben jumped from his leather seat, not being able to sit around with his thoughts anymore. He grabbed his car keys and jacket before storming out of the room. He popped his head back in after a moment and pointed a finger at Aristotle. “Fuck you, sir.”

  
Ben made it to Rey’s home in no time. He ran up the stairs to the flat before ringing the doorbell, shoving his hands in his pockets as he rocked on his heels impatiently. Finally, after the third ring, the door swung open and a dark-skinned man opened the door with a glare. “May I help you?” He asked before he recognized him.

“Creepy white dude?”

“Quinn?”

“Who’s at the door?” A loud, female voice yelled from inside the house. It wasn’t Rey, this person sounded drunk and distinctly American. Both things Ben was sure Rey wasn’t (who gets drunk at 5 pm?)

“Listen, man, if you're here for Rey. You're out of luck. She just ran to the grocery store to get more chips like ten minutes ago.” Finn declared, leaning against the doorframe. “What’s the deal with you and her anyway?” He added, narrowing his eyes slightly at Ben.

“Yeah, what’s the deal!?” Another loud voice called, this one much closer to the door. Ben noticed a head of curly hair behind Finn, pawing his back to try and get a good look at Ben. Eventually, Finn sighed as if getting sick of restraining the man like he were a child and moved out of the way. The man began to wag his finger at Ben as if preparing a speech when he suddenly stopped and brought his hand up to his mouth.

“What is it, Poe? Do you feel nauseous?” Finn asked worriedly after Poe had stood like that for some time.

Ben took a small step back and glared at him. “Listen, I don’t know who you are but I do know that if you puke on me, I will end-”

“The guy from the video! Kilo!” Poe shouted, finally speaking which resulted in a relaxed outtake of breath from Finn and a flaring of the nostrils from Ben. He was just about to ask him to explain himself when a soft voice spoke from behind them.

“What’s going on?” A confused Rey asked, holding in one hand a huge bag of tortilla chips and in the other salsa.


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which ben meets rey's friends and they go on another date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update! i was feeling icky this weekend. your comments really helped! so thank you and keep them coming. (also i didn't proofread so bare with me)

Rey didn’t know how to feel about Ben showing up uninvited at her place. 

Usually, this would be a sweet gesture and she’d be thrilled but she didn’t think she was quite ready to introduce him to her friends. They were so different and Rey had only told Finn about him really. She told him that they hung out as friends, not wanting to jinx herself or invoke the wrath of Finn and Poe’s overprotectiveness. She just hoped he liked them (hell, tolerated them) and they liked him. 

She sighed as she poured the large bag of chips into a bowl, watching as Poe relentlessly interrogated their guest. Ben looked trapped, sitting in the corner of the sofa, his arms wrapped around himself as if he was creating a barrier to separate him from everyone else. Poe leaned into him and she could see Ben fighting the urge to push him away and out of his personal bubble.

Finn and Jess danced in the middle of the room to some loud Whitney Houston song, while Rose, Snap, and Paige clapped and sang along. Poe kept getting distracted from his interview by Finn swinging his hips or Jess twirling him around, and he watched Finn for a moment, his face softening. Then he’d snap back to Ben with a glare and ask him how much he made a year. 

Rey brought out the bowl of chips and set it on the coffee table that was already cluttered with salsa, bottles of alcohol, and other various snacks. She sat down on the edge of the sofa, watching her friends dance with a warm feeling in her chest. She adored them, really. She didn’t know where she’d be without Finn, who’d been the one to push her to apply for her job, and a school in the U.S. He was always there for her when she was upset or frustrated and when she was proud of herself, like now, he was there supporting her too. 

A slower, more mellow song began playing from the speakers and everyone’s head turned to look at Poe as Lana Del Rey began to sing. “Did I put that into the wrong playlist?” He asked hazily, fumbling with his phone in order to try and shut it off. 

"Summertime Sadness," Snap said, nodding his head as he took a gulp of beer. 

"You recognized it, so shut up." Poe snarled, still struggling with the phone.

“Leave it,” Finn laughed, snatching the phone out of his hand before scrolling through his playlists. “Who has this many song collections? There’s one for literally every single human emotion possible, and then some. ‘For When Rey’s Being Mean’.” He looked over at Poe. The latter just shrugged and tried to avoid Rey’s gaze. Rey fought back a laugh.

She’s pretty aware of the fact that Poe likes to go to his room and blast music when she scolds him for not doing the dishes or leaving his clothes around when she specifically asked him not to. She simply assumed that the loud songs about teenage rebellion were a result of him searching ‘songs about angst’, she had no idea he’d made a playlist for that situation. Her eyes traveled over to Ben, who coincidentally, was smiling at her. She thought he’d find this funny.

“Pathetic.” Jess teased, still moving along to the sounds of the song, her long dark hair tumbling over her shoulders. 

“Truly,” Rose said, shaking her head sadly as she sipped on a glass of beer that Jess had so graciously provided.

Rose’s sister, Paige, let out a giggle, bringing a hand up to her mouth. “Check if there’s one about you, Finn.” She suggested, her eyes widening wickedly.

Finn’s mouth broke out in a smile and he connected his eyes to Poe’s before scrolling even further down. Rey wondered just how long it took Poe to organize all his music as Finn’s slender finger repeatedly swiped at the screen. Seeming to have found one he took in a breath before speaking again. “This one is called ‘Finn’, and this one is ‘Finn’s smile’, and there’s a-” He stopped halfway through his sentence and looked over at Poe, whose cheeks were a bright red. Stalking over he gently handed the cell phone back and cleared his throat. “Sorry.” He said, scratching the back of his neck. 

Rey put her face in her hands, knowing that Finn had probably come across something about Poe wanting to kiss him or worse. She shuddered at the thought of a playlist that had to do with Finn and something explicit. Surely, Poe wasn’t that dumb.

“Have you guys seen the newest Hugh Jackman movie? Lovely, isn’t it?” Ben suddenly said loudly, his deep voice practically commanding the attention of everyone in the room. 

“Oh my god, yes.” Rose began, squeezing her sister’s thigh excitedly. 

“I cried like six times!” Paige insisted, swatting Rose’s hand away. 

They began to chatter animatedly about the film to Jess, who hadn’t seen it, as Poe filled himself up another glass of beer and Finn tried to stop him. Ben rose from his seat and snatched a chip before swiftly dipping it into the salsa and eating it in one bite. “Not so bad.” He admitted, after swallowing, as he approached Rey. 

Rey gave him a weak smile and prayed he didn’t see her any different now that he’s met her friends. 

“I have a question,” Ben asked, reaching for another chip. 

“Shoot.”

“Do you like art?”  
__  
“What do you think?” Rey asked, biting the edge of her thumbnail nervously. 

Ben reached over and gently tugged her hand away from her mouth, lacing his fingers around hers instead. His eyes took in the painting they were standing in front of, some piece of yet another naked man and lady touching. Rey didn’t find that one interesting, she was more of a fan of cubism, liking the way the shapes came together in strange images and the overall colors. Ben was into everything realism, and he found great joy in taking in the dull renaissance art as Rey impatiently stood beside him. “I like this piece,” Ben said, tilting his head as he again searched for something in the painting that Rey couldn’t seem to find. 

“Not that,” Rey sighed, letting her eyes roam over the painting once again, this time more slowly. She noticed things she didn’t even realize she’d missed before. Like the color scheme of the woman’s hair and skin. She was a mix of gold, leafy green, brown, and blue. Her hair was intertwined with branches and flowers spurted from her arms, their buds fresh on her fingers. Her lips reminded Rey of rosebuds, the color a vibrant vermillion. Her eyes were painted a deep blue, like the ocean. 

“She’s supposed to be mother earth,” Ben stated as if it weren’t obvious. “The man represents humanity. You see where they’re touching?” He pointed to where their hands brushed against each other lightly, just barely. The woman’s chestnut skin had begun to wither where the man's hand met hers. A cracked tracing up to her glowing cheek had erupted from the spot. 

“He’s hurting her,” Rey said, stepping closer. Now that she was paying more attention she could see that the woman’s smile was more of a sad grimace like she was smiling before and now she was in pain. 

“Precisely. Now, what were you saying?” 

“Uh, it’s nothing.” Rey’s question now felt childish and unimportant. 

Ben turned all the way towards her so that their feet were nearly toe to toe. Rey felt small under his gaze. He cupped her cheeks softly, looking her in the eye. “I like your friends, Rey. They’re funny and entertaining and I’m pretty sure your roommate is in love with the other pizza boy but they’re lovely.” He said in a voice so reassuring Rey was upset for even thinking that Ben might harbor some unspoken resentment towards her friends. “I don’t even have friends of my own to compare them to.” He muttered, looping an arm in hers and walking them to the next exhibit. 

Rey leaned her head against his shoulder, not daring to acknowledge his last remark with a comment. She knew Ben. She was well aware of his asocial tendencies and knew that if he said he didn’t have friends, he probably didn’t. “Consider them your friends too.” She simply said, feeling herself grow excited as they reached a section on Picasso. Ben turned his head and smiled down at her in a way that made Rey’s cheeks flush.

They stood there and admired his work for a while, pointing out things and telling each other fun facts. Eventually, the lights dimmed, as a warning that the building would be closing soon. Rey and Ben made their way to his car outside, the cold, night air biting at Rey’s cheeks. They’d gone in when the sun was still up and had come out to find outside dark, it was surprising how much faster time went by when you weren’t stuck in a desk inside of a room that reeked of Lysol and coffee. 

By the time Ben reached Rey’s home she had almost dozed off. He gently tapped her shoulder when they arrived, whispering her name in a hushed tone. 

“Thank you,” Rey said tiredly, leaning over to brush a kiss against the side of his face. She ignored the smell of his scented shampoo from the piece of hair that brushed against her nose. She liked the way Ben smelled, she couldn't quite put her finger on it but it was a lovely aroma. In fact, Rey liked Ben. A lot. She wondered if he knew. Or if he liked her back. If he still wanted to kiss her the way she wanted to kiss him. 

"You okay?" Ben asked, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. It was less awkward when he did that, more comfortable and familiar. 

She nodded her head before leaning forward so that they were inches away. "Do you want to kiss me?" She blurted, her eyes moving down to his pink lips before looking back at those beautiful brown eyes. Ben tilted his head, and the light from the streetlamp illuminated a strip of his face dully. 

"Very much." He admitted. "Do you?"

Rey felt something in her chest flutter as she tried to wrap her head around the fact that he wanted this. He wanted to kiss her. Maybe even more. She wasn't delusional and the kiss they shared at the opera wasn't a misunderstanding. She felt like she could breathe again, and stop overthinking everything Ben said or did. "I do." She croaked, surprised to find her mouth dry and her voice weak.

"Good." Ben breathed, and it hit Rey that maybe he was wondering this too. She liked the idea of Ben thinking about her, he probably didn't do it often when she wasn't around but it was a nice thought. "Can I?" He added after a pause. 

Rey nodded wordlessly and Ben leaned in and pressed his lips against hers gently. This kiss was soft and timid, nothing like the way they'd kissed at the opera. Rey parted her mouth and Ben did too, cupping her cheeks with his large hands. They were warm, both his hands and his lips, as opposed to Rey's cold fingers and chapstick covered mouth. Ben pulled away for a moment and licked his lips. "Strawberry." He said simply, giving her a grin that made Rey want nothing more than to kiss him as hard as she could. So, she did. Moving her hand to the back of his head and lacing her fingers in that dark mop of hair before connecting her mouth to his roughly. Ben reciprocated the enthusiasm after a second of passed shock, one of his hands moving down to her hip. They were positioned awkwardly as it was the front of the car and there was a compartment between the seats, but they kissed and kissed and kissed until Rey's lips were pink and sore and Ben's hair was sticking in all different directions and he probably had an erection but Rey didn't bother to check as her phone began to ring in her pocket. 

She pulled away from Ben suddenly and pulled it out, Poe's name popping out at her. "I have to go." She said, before grabbing her purse and pressing one last kiss to Ben's mouth. Ben nodded and ran a hand through his hair. "Can I see you tomorrow?" He asked hopefully. 

"Yes." Rey assured him, tempted to kiss him again. She quickly left the car before she asked Ben to take her to his place, and waved at him before stalking up the steps to her home.


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which ben is conflicted and rey is stressed and horny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! i just want to say thank you so much for your lovely comments, they really do motivate me and make me want to write more. sorry about the late chapter, this one took so long to put together. i hope you enjoy!

Ben wondered if he was in love with her. 

It was an acceptable explanation for the way he felt when he was around her. He wasn’t sure what romantic love constituted of since he’s never been in love with a person. He’s fallen in love with things and feelings, like the thrill of writing, or his favorite artworks, or a song that reminds him of his mother (not that he’d ever tell her that) but never a person. 

It couldn’t be true. Ben had only known her for weeks, heard her voice for months and only taken her out on a couple of dates. Maybe this was infatuation. “Infatuation leads to love,” his mom had said when he was in high school and his mom had tried to explain how relationships work. As a 17-year-old boy with much better things to do, he’d rolled his eyes at her and tuned out the entire conversation. Now he wishes he’d paid more attention. 

Rey was someone Ben had a feeling he could grow to love. It was already there, deep inside him. He could love her, be in love with her. Not just the idea of her, or the way her hair fell in her face when she let it down, or the way her lips curled up slowly when she was beginning to smile. He was already in love with those things. It was a matter of embracing every little thing about her and devoting his time to figuring her out. Besides, he felt like Rey would be the kind of person to take offense to a hasty “I love you”. 

Maybe Rey could love him too. 

Was it awful of him to imagine being with her? He daydreamed of dates that ended in strewn clothes and messy bed sheets, dinners with his family, and having her get rid of that pitiful last name and taking his. He imagined a wedding day, even though Ben felt like he’d be the kind of person to quietly elope, with a big cake and flowers and white everywhere and Rey. He saw her walking down the aisle, hand in hand with that weepy roommate of hers and his boyfriend. He saw her smile at him beneath her veil in that sneaky way she always did, like she was up to something. He saw himself, lifting the thin lacy material and kissing her without waiting for the ‘I do’s’. God, he even imagined children with her, little Bens and Reys. Ben found himself sickening.

He watched as she awkwardly attempted to hold a conversation with a tall man in a red suit, a wine glass dangling from her hand as she nodded to whatever the gentleman was saying. A smile spread across Ben’s face when the man asked Rey a question and she brought the glass up to her mouth to avoid answering. The man waited patiently and Rey ended up drinking the entire glass before looking around desperately. At this point, Ben had to stifle a laugh and he walked over to save her. “Hello, Lando.” He said, shaking his hand before standing beside Rey.

Lando Calrissian, a peculiar man with a funny mustache Ben had been making fun of since he was 10, was one of his dad’s old racing sponsors. He was fond of weird things like bird species and what time it was in Russia. “There he is! I’ve been looking for you all night, son.” He declared before smiling widely, making his facial hair twitch in a comedic way. “Guess you were busy, eh?” He winked exaggeratedly and looked back at the woman Ben was just conversing with. 

Sana Starros, a stern woman who was part of Han Solo’s crew. She’d been catching up with him, the routine questions such as “When are you getting married?” and “You’re still writing?”

Ben shook his head.”Sana’s practically an aunt.” He assured him, ignoring the small giggle from Rey.

“And who’s this?” Lando asked, smiling down at Rey.

“My-”

“A fan. I love Mr. Ren’s work, don’t you?” Rey interjected, changing the subject. 

“I have to say, for a man who was such a brat back in the day, he really has proven himself far too articulate for the likes of us.” He answered, now reaching over and patting Ben’s shoulder. Ben smiled at him before shooting Rey a glare.”I haven’t read your most recent novel, though. I hope you can forgive me, racing season is beginning and it’s lying under a pile of papers on my desk.”

“It’s completely fine-”

“Oh, Mr.Calrissian this is his best work yet!” Rey exclaimed, setting a hand on Lando’s arm. “This latest installment has to be one of the greatest things Kylo’s written.”

Ben didn’t know why but hearing his fake name leave Rey’s mouth felt strange. Wrong, even.

Ben snaked an arm around her waist before she could embarrass him further. “I think Ms. Kenobi’s had enough wine.”

“Hardly.” Rey grinned, setting her glass on a nearby waiter’s platter. 

“Maybe I should take her home.” Ben insisted, giving Lando a polite smile and shaking his hand again before dragging he and Rey off to the door. “Get your coat.”

“But I want to meet your dad,” Rey whined, fumbling with a piece of her hair that had come undone from her bun. She looked rather stunning tonight in a rich blue dress that came to a halt at her calves. The pearl necklace he’d gifted to her sat on her neck, making him fill with pride every time he saw it. Her lips were painted a scarlet red and he wondered if she’d get angry at him for kissing her right then and there. 

“He’s not here tonight,” Ben informed her, holding out the coat for her to slip her arms into. He spun her around and began to work on her buttons. 

“Why not?” She asked disappointedly, slightly blushing at the prospect of someone else putting her coat on for her as if she were a little girl. 

“Why does my dad do anything? I don't know.” He admitted, slipping his own jacket on and reaching for her hand.

Ben wasn’t that close to his father. He had an alright relationship with him, but he and his mother’s was significantly better. She reached out to him more and wasn't shy about doing so, whereas Han would awkwardly call him once a month. They saw each other at holidays and family events but even then it was a simple pat on the shoulder and a “Hello son”. Ben wondered if Rey ever met her dad. Probably not. He wondered what Rey’s father would be like.   
__  
“You called me Kylo,” Ben announced after a long comfortable silence that followed them leaving the event. Some charity gala Ben’s mother had to do with that he was invited to. “And bring that lovely girl, please.” His mom had added when she called him, resulting in him rolling his eyes and promising her he would. 

“So I did.”

“I don’t like that.” He admitted, tracing his finger along the rim of the cup he was holding. 

“Appearances.” Rey simply stated, pouring herself a little of the bit of the white wine. Ben thought she should stop with the alcohol but it wasn’t too much she was having so he let her. Besides he didn't think Rey would enjoy him policing how much she drank.

He set his glass down and looked her in the eye for the first time since they arrived at his apartment. “Appearances.” He repeated under his breath. “Are you embarrassed of me?” He asked, loud enough for her to hear. 

“Never.” Rey was quick to respond, setting her cup down on a coaster gently. “I thought maybe you’d want me to-”

“No,” Ben said, tilting his head. “I want you to call me Ben. Like you always do.”

“Ben.” Rey breathed, her voice barely audible, and it was the loveliest sound he’d heard all night.

Ben nodded and looked down at his glass again, his cheeks tinged pink from embarrassment. He was glad he made that clear to her, but it made him feel childish. 

His train of thought was interrupted when Rey moved closer to him and leaned up to press a kiss to his forehead. “Ben.” She said softly, lingering close to his face. He wanted to respond but his voice failed him as her lips moved to his left cheek and then to his right, punctuating each kiss with the sound of his name. Rey kissed his nose, smiled and whispered a “Ben.” Her warm mouth found its way to his jaw and was hovering over his neck when Ben lifted her face. “Enough.” He insisted, nearly breathless. 

Rey opened her mouth to say something, probably to repeat his name, but before she could form the B he crashed his mouth into hers. She kissed back heartily, wrapping her arms around his neck as his hands found their way to her waist. Sometime during the kiss, Ben had pulled Rey onto his lap and she swung a leg on either side of him as he placed a hand on her hip. Her fingers ran through his hair like they always did whenever they kissed and his grip on her hip tightened. Eventually, Rey pulled away and pushed her hair out of her face, her lipstick was smeared and Ben was sure there was some on his mouth. She quickly climbed off of him and sat back in her seat on the sofa, her hands coming up to cup her mouth. 

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked, concern evident in his tone.

Rey shook her head. “I’ve got a literature exam tomorrow.”  
Ben sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair. “I thought it was something serious.”

“This is serious! I’ve got to prepare otherwise I’ll fail and then-” Rey began hurriedly, standing up and looking around for her shoes and coat.

“Relax,” Ben insisted, reaching for her wrist and tugging her towards him. “I’ll help you study. I am an award-winning author, after all.” He added the last part just to irk her. 

It worked and she wrinkled her nose at him. “Conceited much?” She huffed, though she did lean over to tuck a piece of his hair behind his ear. It was such a sweet, innocent gesture it almost made Ben forget she’d been straddling his waist moments before.

Ben took advantage of the moment and pulled her down slightly, pressing a chaste kiss to her mouth. “Very. Now, where did you set your backpack again?”


	10. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which rey daydreams of ben and the gang has a (sort of) double date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i loved your comments so i updated as quickly as possible! please enjoy and leave kudos and more wonderful feedback.

Rey had read somewhere online that hugging someone releases oxytocins that relax your anxiety and calm the mind. She believed this more and more as she went on. Growing up, Rey was not subjected to many hugs. Nowadays, she could always count on a squeeze or two from either Poe, Finn, or Jess. Whether it be sad, happy, or for no reason, every hug she received from her friends was relaxing and pain-numbing. She didn’t know why every nerve in her body burned the first time she hugged Ben. 

She wasn’t even entirely sure how it happened. One moment she handed him his pizza and teased him about the slight stubble that had grown on his face and the next they were embracing each other tightly. Rey didn’t know why it was so strange, she’d kissed this man several times. She’d tugged on his hair and sat on his lap, so really there was no reason for her to get all shy about physical contact when it came to Ben Solo. Yet, her cheeks still flushed and her upper back felt scalding where Ben’s arms touched. When they separated he pressed the money into her palm and bid her goodbye. Rey didn’t utter a word as she left his apartment, rode the elevator down, and climbed into Jess’ car. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to hug Ben, or that she didn’t enjoy it. It was more of the fact that they’d never hugged and it just felt so intimate and strange. 

“Ms. Kenobi.” Her professor, Doctor Ackbar, boomed, his loud voice shaking her from her thoughts. “What do you think?”

Rey mentally scolded herself from daydreaming about stupid Ben Solo and that stupid hug. Now she was going to look like an ungrateful idiot and he was going to kick her out for not taking notes. “A-about what, Doctor?”

“Machiavelli’s ‘The Prince’,” Ackbar answered, glowering at her as he adjusted his wide glasses. 

Rey vaguely remembered reading part of the damned novel at Ben’s place. She’d bought it at this used bookstore for three dollars and she didn’t realize that most of the pages were either gone or torn up. Ben, luckily, had a pristine copy in that ginormous bookshelf of his and he lent it to her in a exchange for a single kiss. That singular kiss turned into more than one kisses and before she knew it twenty minutes had gone by and she was making out with Ben in his study. 

She nearly sighed at the memory before remembering that her teacher was still waiting on an answer. She fidgeted in her seat, adjusting her skirt before looking back up. “I think he’s right?” She offered, clicking and unclicking her pen nervously. “I mean, clearly the guy knows what he’s saying. Being feared is a lot more safer than being loved because then people won’t take you for granted.” She said, bullshitting every word of her statement off of one quote Ben had read aloud to her. 

“Hm,” Ackbar hesitated before moving on to the next unsuspecting student. 

Rey let out a breath of relief and willed her mind to free itself of thoughts surrounding Ben when her phone lit up with a text. 

Solo; How do you feel about cherry tarts?

Solo; Like they’re crispy and sweet but also tart. 

Rey tried to ignore his messages but it lit up once again with another text from Ben.

Solo; But that makes sense because they’re tarts. 

She bit her lip to stop herself from smiling and decided to shut off her phone completely before she got caught by the professor. The rest of the class passed by relatively quickly as Rey was now paying attention to what the old man had to say. On her way out she turned her phone on, she stared at the logo displayed and waited for her lock screen to show. As a result, she ran into someone on accident. 

“I am so sorry-” She began until she noticed that she didn’t just run into anyone and it was most definitely not an accident. “Finn!”

“You should watch where you’re going.” He chuckled, adjusting the plain red baseball cap on his head. 

“I apologize. Where are you headed?” She asked, sticking her phone in her pocket and deciding to check her texts later. 

“I was just going to head up to Maz’s,” Finn said, scratching his neck like he always did when he was lying. 

“Oh really?” Rey exclaimed, looping an arm in his. “What a coincidence! I was just on my way there myself.” She wasn’t lying to be truthful, but maybe she was eager to see what sort of secret her best friend might be hiding from her.

Finn paused for a moment and dragged his thumb across his lip in thought. “Wonderful.” He finally said, smiling rather nervously. 

__

Rey didn’t know what she was expecting but it certainly was not to find Poe and Ben in her favorite window booth, seated opposite of each other. She racked her brain for any possible explanation but found no reason as to why these two would be anywhere together. Or maybe Ben had taken her advice about making friends and decided to start with one of Rey’s, that would be lovely, right? 

 

She looked over at Finn for an answer, but he too was confused, his mouth gaping open as he took in the sight. Rey dragged Finn over there, still holding his hand as she approached the table. “Hi there.” She said, smiling slightly. 

“Rey?” Poe said, his head snapping over to look at her. 

Ben continued to sip on his strawberry smoothie, not bothering to lift his head as he leaned down and took the straw into his mouth. “Hello, Rey.” He finally said, resting his cheek on his propped up hand as he studied her face and then Finn’s and then their intertwined hands. His facial expression didn’t change a bit as he looked back up at her face, his lips curling into a smile. 

Rey was glad Ben didn’t get jealous often. Jealousy, as most people knew, was a sign of insecurity and immaturity. Both of which Rey didn’t exactly find attractive, (although sometimes Ben was rather immature). She slid into the seat beside him, forcing Finn to sit by Poe. “So what’s going on?” She asked, looking between them as she took Ben’s milkshake and drank from his straw. He wrinkled his nose at her in faux disgust and she rolled her eyes before looking at Poe pointedly. 

“Well, I was meeting with Finn here when I noticed Ben who happened to be waiting for you.” He said, clearing his throat as he avoided eye contact with Finn.

“Then he came over and apologized for nearly attacking me the last time I was over,” Ben added, his eyes still trained on Rey’s face.

Poe scowled and Finn tried not to laugh. Poe was known for sucking at apologies. Rey couldn’t remember the last time she’d heard him utter the word ‘sorry’ and actually mean it. For example, the first time he broke the TV Rey had paid for he’d stubbornly promised to buy a new one that was much better than this old, low-quality trash. Rey would have rather had an apology than a bullshit promise as she didn’t watch television anyways. 

“Since, we’re all here why don’t we eat together,” Finn suggested as the waitress made her way over.

“Obviously.” Rey agreed, still sipping on Ben’s almost finished drink. “Wow, this is great.” She said, looking over at the drink’s original owner. 

“I’m glad you’re enjoying my milkshake, darling.” Ben deadpanned, putting an emphasis on the word ‘my’. 

The waitress reached their table and they went around the table and took turns ordering. By the time their meals had arrived they’d ditched the small talk and were discussing the topic of Ben’s latest novel. Not the published one, but the one he was working on. Rey smiled proudly as Ben answered Poe and Finn’s questions modestly. When their food was set down in front of them, Finn took to setting a napkin over his lap and everyone waited. “What are we waiting for?” He asked, looking around with furrowed brows. “Are we going to say grace or something?”

“It’s polite to wait to begin your meal until everyone’s ready to begin their meal,” Ben informed him, unwrapping another straw and sticking it into Rey’s new milkshake. 

“Hey!” Rey called as he leaned down to drink some of it. 

“What? I don’t want to drink from a straw that tastes like meat.” He said, eyeing her steak distastefully before smiling down at his own plate of crepes. 

Rey wondered what this man’s obsession with strawberry crepes was. Or rather, his obsession with strawberries in general. He ate them frequently and kissed her the longest on days she wore her strawberry chapstick. It was ridiculous, really. “Oh, whatever.” She huffed before mumbling under her breath, “he’ll kiss me but he won’t share a straw with me.” 

Ben set his fork down and looked over at her. “Is this seriously upsetting you? Rey. You stole my milkshake.” He reminded her.

Rey threw her hands up and widened her eyes. “Whoa, who said I was ever upset? You’re being ridiculous, your drink was nearly done when I took it from you.” She argued defensively. 

“Actually, that statement was false and I am the witness.” Poe chimed, swallowing a bite of his cheeseburger.

“Stay out of it, Poe. This is great entertainment.” Finn muttered, holding a slice of pizza up to his mouth. 

Rey turned to him, suddenly aware of the irony in his order. “Aren’t you sick of pizza, Finn?”

Finn shrugged and drank from his tall glass of soda. “I don’t sneak slices in between orders, so no. No, I am not, Rey.” He pointed out, dabbing at the corner of his mouth with a napkin. 

At that, both Poe and Ben laughed loudly. Loud enough for other tables to turn and glare at them anyways. It was a lovely sound. Two of her most favorite people laughing at once? Especially the two she was most worried would have a hard time getting along? It was practically music to her ears. And when Finn joined in, she realized that if she knew one thing, it was that Machiavelli was wrong when he said that every man was greedy and fickle in nature. He was wrong when he insisted that you must not become so close with others. Maybe he was addressing a prince in the 1500s, but then again the only reason he wrote his stupid book was to win the favor of some man in power so anything he said he probably didn’t mean. 

By the end of the night, Rey was absolutely positive that a) she might be in love and b) Machiavelli was kind of a big hypocrite.


	11. Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which rey & ben spend the day with han solo and harry potter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, happy valentine's day. i hope you enjoy this chapter, please keep commenting lovely stuff! my favorite ones are the long ones or the ones where you guys tell me what parts you like, they really motivate me so thank you!

“What do you think so far?” Ben asked, his dark hair swinging as he looked down at Rey. His body was strewn over the armrest of the couch and his midsection dangled over the edge as he held open a copy of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets upside down. Rey had tried to stop him and preached about the effects of blood rushing to his head but he waved it off and insisted on reading to her in that position. It reminded her of Poe when he cried. She was lying down on the floor, listening to him read as she crossed and uncrossed her ankles. It was a Sunday morning and they both couldn’t be bothered to do anything but be lazy until they had to be productive.

“I think Dudley is a proper git.” She answered, studying Ben’s face. He looked calm, relaxed, the way he always did when he read to her. He did that quite often nowadays, reading to her. She enjoyed it very much. They barely ever finished one story and he usually just read bits and pieces of his favorite novels to her. Then he’d explain his interpretation and he always seemed so interested. It was quite lovely to watch. 

He shut the book and tossed it aside, still hanging over the side of the couch. “Still can’t believe you’ve never read Harry Potter.”

Rey wrinkled her nose. “You think that just because I’m from the U.K, I’ll have some sort of extended knowledge on that series.” She began to count the freckles on his face inside her head, her eyes flitting over his features. 

“No,” Ben said, his face bursting into a smile, “I think that literally almost everyone who is literate has at least read one of the books. Or at least seen a movie.”

Rey shrugged before leaning up and cupping his face. “Well, I haven’t.” She muttered, before kissing him softly on the mouth. It was a funny position to kiss someone in and it sort of reminded her of Spiderman, but it was lovely and he tasted like fresh strawberries. 

“How romantic. You’ve seen Spiderman but not Harry Potter?” He teased, licking his lips, apparently having followed her thought train as well. 

“Oh shut up. When’s your dad coming?” She asked, rising up and adjusting her soft sundress. She’d thrown on the first thing she could find that morning, although a sundress in fall was sort of ridiculous. At least Ben liked it because he gave her that condescending once-over like he always did and then proceeded to kiss her cheek when she walked in.

Ben swung himself up and sat upright on the couch, running a hand through his hair. “Sometime around 12, why?” 

“I want to meet him.” She insisted, snatching the half-eaten bowl of strawberries off of the glass table and making her way into his kitchen. 

“Hey! I was eating that.” He whined, jumping up from the couch and following her. “Besides, I don’t get why you’d want to. He’s kind of an ass. Google him if you want to know more about him.” 

Rey turned and glared at him before opening his fridge and looking inside. She straightened back up with a small smile. “Did you go grocery shopping?” She asked, a hint of amusement in her tone as she imagined Ben pushing around a cart and throwing in carrots and kale juice. 

“It was my mom.” He sighed, sounding almost embarrassed.

“Your mom, buys your groceries?”

“She orders them from a nearby store and has them deliver it to me because I always forget.” He mumbled for clarification, ignoring Rey’s giggles. “What are you doing in my kitchen anyways?” 

Rey spun around and shrugged. “I’m looking for a snack.”

“You just had breakfast.” He pointed out, biting into a strawberry from the bowl she’d stolen. 

“So you can snack on strawberries, but when I look for a granola bar there’s suddenly a problem?” She taunted, narrowing her eyes at him in faux anger. 

“Rey, that is not what I-” Ben began, setting a hand on her bare arm. 

“I’m home!” A loud voice boomed and Rey’s eyes widened in confusion while Ben sighed. 

“Dad, you’re early.” He called, making his way to the front door. There stood a gray-haired man, who looked a tad bit like Ben. Rey barely remembered the last time she saw him which had been a little over a month ago. She didn’t think he’d remember her at all, which was true because his eyes darted to her as soon as she walked over. 

“Who’s this?” He asked gruffly, the question more directed at Ben. 

“A friend.” She answered for him, tucking her hair behind her ear. She glanced over at Ben, whose lips were pressed together in a straight line. She wondered if she should have said anything else, but what? He certainly wasn’t her boyfriend, or at least, she didn’t think he was. And she didn’t think that ‘friends who go on dates and have makeout sessions that come dangerously close to sex’ was a legit label. Or was that friends with benefits? But they don’t have sex. 

Rey shook her head to clear her mind of impure thoughts when she looked up and noticed that Ben and his father were hugging. Sort of. Their arms were awkwardly loose and from Rey’s viewpoint, Han’s eyes were wide in a sort of confused way. They pulled away and Han patted Ben’s shoulder. “Got any whiskey?” He said, eyes twinkling with what seemed to be excitement. 

 

__

Rey had decided that she liked Han Solo.

He was a nice man, seemed like the kind of person to be into tough love when it came to parenting but he was ultimately an alright guy. From the stories he told, Rey could tell he’d seen a lot of things in his lifetime. Although he obviously didn’t think so, she was convinced he was a great person. She was comfortable around him as soon as he started talking, he asked her simple questions and he wasn’t in shock when he found out what she was majoring in (she was kind of sick of that reaction). He gave her tips and recommended local garages he knew were hiring (“What’s a future mechanic doing at a pizza joint, anyway?”). Ben, however, was on edge. He wasn’t acting differently exactly, but he was a lot less composed when his dad was with them. His movements became jerkier and impulsive, rather than his usual aura of grace and preciseness. He didn’t touch Rey at all during his father’s visit, which was strange for him. His hand was always either resting in hers, or their thighs were touching, and sometimes he even kept an arm around her shoulder. 

He’d told her before that he wasn’t very close to his father, and that most of their relationship existed to keep Leia happy. Rey didn’t understand why at all, but she figured that it was best kept between Ben and Han. She should not intrude on their family problems. That was rude and inconsiderate, no matter how much the question gnawed at her. 

“So, where did you two meet?” Han asked, looking between them. 

Ben cleared his throat, indicating to Rey that he’d answer the question. Rey, a bit hurt he didn’t smile and nod at her like he usually did around Leia, looked down at her iced tea as he spoke. “She delivered to my place a lot.”

“Not exactly your typical cute meet,” Han noted, taking a swig of his drink. “But then again, your mother and I met after I trashed her family’s front lawn to get back at Professor Skywalker. He was such a dick.” Han mused, rubbing his hand against his chin as he recalled the incident.

“Have you heard from Uncle Luke lately? How’s his trip to Florence?” Ben asked in a monotone, seeming to not really care about his uncle’s wellbeing.

Han looked genuinely surprised he even asked and shrugged. “He calls your mother a shitton, don’t speak to him myself.”

Rey noticed the difference in dialects when it came to their family. Whereas Leia and Ben both cherished large words and fancy phrases, Han didn’t seem to care much. The way people spoke said a lot about their personalities, she’d remembered Doctor Ackbar saying. She didn’t think it was true. People are people, their linguistics tell you where they’re from and that’s it. 

“Florence.” Rey hummed after there was a break in the conversation. “I’ve always wanted to go.”

Ben looked over at her and she could swear his eyes softened. “You will.” He assured her, setting a hand on hers. 

Rey wondered if that were just supposed to make her feel better or if it was an actual promise. Han’s eyes drifted to their touching hands and his mouth turned into a small lopsided smile. Rey felt her chest grow warm and her stomach fuzzy. 

“So I saw Lando last week,” Ben said, turning to his dad with a newfound interest in continuing the conversation. 

“Lando!”


	12. Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which rey and ben are domestic and ben has a hard time sleeping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave comments on feedback or what you'd like to see maybe! they really do motivate me and make me feel very happy. thank you for reading!

Plato once said that at the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. Ben found this disturbingly inaccurate as time went by. He found that his facade of cool barely managed to come through when he was around her. He stumbled to find the perfect word or phrase for particular situations, even though he was very much proficient in the English language (this is the Kylo Ren we’re talking about, for goodness sakes). He nervously tucked his hair behind his ear frequently, and once he even said ‘um’. He never said ‘um’, it was something idiots did. Still, when Rey asked what he thought they should have for dinner the answer was a plain ‘um’. He was having a hard time indeed. 

“What do you think, Solo?” Rey asked, biting her lip in anticipation as she surveyed his face, bringing him back to the present.

I think that you are wonderful and I adore you.

“It’s alright, not as riveting as I imagined it’d be,” Ben answered, his eyes fixated on the darkened TV screen. 

Rey threw her arms up in the air exasperatedly. “Jesus, Ben. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is a classic.”

Ben turned his head to look at her. “It came out the year I was born.” 

“You’re a dinosaur.” Rey deadpanned, walking over and shutting the TV off. “What she would do next?” She asked, rubbing her eyes. 

I think that we should get married and have kids next.

“Maybe you should take a nap, Rey.” Ben insisted, rising up and stretching his limbs. He walked over to her and wrapped a piece of her dark hair around his finger, leaning down to press a kiss to her temple. “Seriously, I caught you nodding off a few times.” 

“I was blinking.”

“For three minutes.” 

“My eyelids were heavy.” She retorted her tone rather defensive.

Ben rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her head to his chest. “How about you go to sleep in my bed while I work for a couple hours, and then I take you to work later?” Ben asked, phrasing it so that it was more of a statement rather than a question. 

Rey hummed for a moment before looking up at him with half-shut eyelids. “I think that is a wonderful idea and that you are very smart.” She answered, dragging her thumb down his face gently before promptly turning on her heel and walking to his room. 

Ben shook his head at her sudden eagerness and headed to his study, determined to get at least a couple thousand words before he was supposed to take Rey to work. 

__

“That’s ridiculous, Phasma.” 

“Is it really?” The tall woman asked, her voice sharp as glass, “New York is a much better place for the company to relocate. And it’ll be easier for me to keep in touch with you if you are there as well.”

“I’ve got a life, you know.” Ben snapped, feeling his temper rise. 

“What? It’s not like you’re married with kids or something, honestly Kylo. Pack up your shit, I’ve found a nice condo I think you’ll like. It’s quite spacious and it has large windows and even a room for your study.” She trailed on and on about what the home had to offer, completely unaware of Ben clenching and unclenching his fist in silent fury. The more this woman spoke, the more he was growing to resent her. 

He jumped up from his seat, interrupting her mid-speech about how large the bathtub was. “I’m not going.” 

The blonde narrowed her eyes and stepped forward, the sound emitting from her tall heels echoing in the otherwise silent room. He didn’t understand why she needed heels anyways, she was already towering over him in flats. “Listen, Ren. This is what’s best for you and me. Whatever or whoever’s been distracting to you this past month and a half is out of sight, out of mind if you’re in New York. Now, why don’t you do everyone in this pathetic town a favor and have this shit in a suitcase by Monday.” She demanded, gesturing to the pile of stuff on his desk. 

And with that, she click-clacked her way out of Ben’s study, her shoes still echoing as she slammed the front door shut. Ben bit his lip. Hard. He only pulled away when he tasted the tanginess of blood. Angrily, he swept his hand over his desk, knocking everything on it to the ground. 

Was she right? He didn’t have anyone here. His parents traveled all the time and his Uncle Luke lived in Boston alone. There was nothing here for him. Except for maybe a couple sort of friends and Rey. 

Rey. 

Sweet, wonderful, darling Rey. Rey with her beautiful smile and pretty legs and melodious laugh. He loved her. He was sure of it. It’d taken some serious contemplating and then having to admit to himself that he did, but it was true. He was in love with Rey Kenobi and he could only pray that she’d reciprocate the feeling. He could wait to tell her, he had thought, he had time. Now, he wasn’t so sure. 

He could always just say no to the menacing woman that was Phasma, but he could also pack up like she said and find a better life in NY. Is that what he really wanted? Was he so terrible for thinking about it? Ben was feeling the need to break something but fought the urge, instead deciding to strip off his shirt and pants and climb into bed. He could deal with this tomorrow. He laid down in the dark, tugging the covers up to his chest and willing himself to fall asleep. 

It took a while for Ben to realize that this was not going to work and that his best shot was to just drink until he was no longer thinking. He decided against it, deciding that the hangover tomorrow would not be worth it. Instead, he got dressed and went outside to his car before driving to Rey’s place. He sat in his car and looked at the windows, when he noticed that nearly every light was on in the house he climbed out of the vehicle and went up to the front door. He rocked on his heels back and forth, wondering if it were too late to leave. His fist was just about to hit the wood when the door swung open and he was face to face with Finn. “Hey man.”

“Hello, Finn,” Ben answered, licking his lip. “Is Rey home?”

Finn gave him a small smile and rolled his eyes. “Of course she’s home, I’d be concerned if she were not at home at this time.”

“Who is it?” A loud voice, that could only be Poe’s called from inside. 

“Rey’s boyfriend.” Finn called back, before turning back to look at Ben who was now slightly shivering from the cold.”Oh, I should probably let you in.” He said, tapping his lip. 

“You probably should, wouldn’t want Rey’s boyfriend to catch a cold, would you?” Ben joked, ignoring the fact that the cool air was biting his cheeks and his teeth were practically chattering. 

Finn finally moved away from the doorway, seeming to have begun to feel just the littlest bit guilty, letting Ben in. 

“Kilo!” Poe shouted from the couch, his body covered in a blanket as he tossed popcorn into his mouth. Why they were watching a movie at this time was a mystery to Ben but he waved at Rey’s roommate and kicked off his boots at the entrance. 

“So, where’s Rey?” Ben asked, shrugging off his jacket. 

“I’m here!” Rey’s familiar voice called as she jogged down the steps. She immediately ran into Ben’s arms, nearly tackling him into a hug. Ben hugged her back vehemently, his chest growing warm as she pulled away and smiled at him. “What brings you here at this time?” She asked, cocking an eyebrow. 

“Are you not happy to see your boyfriend?” Finn asked from his spot on the couch, his eyes trained on the TV as Poe leaned into his shoulder. 

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Rey said, shooting Finn a death glare before turning back to Ben. “Do you want to go up to my room?” She asked, resulting in an immediate uproar.

“Whoa!” Poe and Finn yelled in unison and even Ben raised an eyebrow.

“Not like that, god. Just to talk away from prying eyes.” She clarified exasperatedly, grabbing Ben’s arm and leading him up the stairs. 

“Leave the door open!” Someone insisted though Ben couldn’t tell which overprotective idiot it was. He followed Rey into a small room, the walls covered in posters and photographs making it seem even smaller. There was a bed in the middle of the room and a small white desk against the right wall. Her sheets, pillows, and blankets followed a tan and brown color scheme. It was quite calming. 

“So, what’s wrong?” Rey asked, folding her arms over her chest. She looked painstakingly lovely in her sweatpants and ratty Charlie Brown t-shirt. 

“Who said anything was wrong?” 

“Ben, you don’t come to someone’s house at midnight unless something is wrong.” 

“I can’t sleep.” He shrugged, lifting the laptop from her bed and setting it on her desk. “Can I spend the night?” He asked, looking down at the floor as he waited for her answer with bated breath. 

“Of course you can,” Rey answered after a beat, her voice surprisingly soft. 

Ben let out a long sigh before lifting his shirt up and tossing it to the side. He slipped off his socks but decided to keep his pants on. Without a word, he slipped into bed, watching as Rey locked the door and shut off her light before padding back to the bed. She joined him under the covers, her body brushing against his as she got comfortable. He wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed the back of her head before dozing off, the guilt of not telling her about Ney York still gnawing at his brain.


	13. Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which rey is pissed and ben isn't very wise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter! i hope i made up for it with an early posting though, so please enjoy. don't forget to comment and leave kudos!

Rey did not expect to bump into Ben’s agent, Phasma, on her way to his apartment. As she entered the elevator she was surprised to find it full, and right beside the only empty spot stood the tall blonde. She gave Rey a daunting smile and cocked an eyebrow as Rey moved towards her. “Visiting your favorite author?” She asked, her tone not as quiet as Rey would like it to be.

Nonetheless, she smiled and gave her a swift nod, surprised she recognized her from the signing. 

“You’ll probably miss this, huh. In fact, you’re probably on your way to say goodbye.” Phasma mused, giving Rey a sympathetic look. 

“What?” 

Phasma looked genuinely surprised Rey didn’t understand what she was getting at. “He didn’t tell you?” She tutted and shook her head. “He’s moving to New York by the end of the week. It may seem a bit sudden but it’s completely necessary for him and the company. Besides, I have no doubt Kylo will adjust to the city fine. He seems like the kind of person who’s destined to live in the Big Apple.” 

Rey ignored her rambling and simply stared at the elevator walls. You know how people say that their blood runs cold when they’re in shock? Rey felt the opposite. She felt a feeling of warmth shoot through her body, resting in her chest and head. She felt as if she might pass out, her legs threatening to give out below her as the white-hot pain and anger courses through her body. 

The elevator doors opened on her stop and Phasma gave her one last gentle pat on the shoulder and stepped out, no doubt to Ben’s place. Rey stayed in the elevator and pressed the first-floor button again. As soon as she reached the lobby, she trashed the bouquet of flowers she’d bought and stomped off towards the entrance. Then she doubled back and gently took the flowers out of the wastebasket, deciding that she’d find another use for it because she paid for this and she would not waste money. The doorman gave her a weird expression as she went out to Poe’s car.

The entire drive home Rey was silently fuming, surprised that the crisp air wasn’t foggy around her ears like in the cartoons. She tried breathing exercises, talked to herself, and even screamed at the top of her lungs when she stopped at a red light. 

She couldn’t believe it, except for the fact that she sort of could. What was she thinking? Of course Ben wanted out of this stupid town. Rey wasn’t worth staying for. He was older than her, and he had money and an actual reputation. He was more grown up and put together then she could ever aspire to be. He didn’t want to stick around for some college girl who didn’t even know how to tell him how she felt.

She arrived home still angry, ignoring Poe’s shouts that she forgot to buy him more grapes. She went up to her room and collapsed onto her bed, fighting back the tears forming in her eyes. She was pathetic. Rey wasn’t the type to cry over some guy.

Except Ben isn’t just some guy, she thought. 

He was smart and handsome and funny and wonderful. He had a lovely smile that he only flashed on rare occasion and this amazing way of making her feel like she was on cloud nine every time she spoke to him. He was a good kisser and even a good hugger, though he professed he barely did it. He liked to play with her hair and read to her and stare at her in a way that made her feel like she was worth something.

One of her pillows still smelled of him and she grabbed it and held it to her chest, breathing in the aroma of strawberries and expensive cologne. He even smelled perfect. She tossed it away from herself, surprised at how clingy she was being. 

Suddenly someone barged through the door, frightening Rey. It was Finn, clad in an olive green button up and jeans. He gave her a small smile before making his way to the edge of the bed. “Hi.” He said.

“Ben’s leaving,” Rey responded, sitting up and staring at the pillow on the ground. 

“When’s he coming back?” Finn asked his brows furrowing.

“Never.”

His face hardened in anger and he looked away. “Wow. Where’s he headed?”

“New York,” Rey answered, her voice so close to cracking. She didn’t like to cry. She would not cry. 

Finn surged forward and wrapped his arms around her, engulfing her in a tight hug. Rey hugged him back vehemently, enjoying the feeling of him petting the top of her head. Finn gave the greatest hugs out of everyone she knew, even better than Ben’s or Poe’s. Finn kept her sane and up to par with the rest of the world. She was already feeling a little bit better as she pulled away. 

“Thank you.” She said, her voice barely a whisper.

Finn patted her cheek gently. “What are best friends for? Now you and I are going to get some brunch because Poe told me you haven’t eaten. Also, remind me to grab him grapes.” Finn announced, standing up and reaching for her hand.

As Rey took it, she realized that maybe she didn’t need Ben anyways. Maybe they just weren’t meant to happen, everything doesn’t always work out the way it’s supposed to. She was okay with working her mediocre job and hanging out with her friends, going to school without Ben. She’d been doing it for a long time before him anyways. 

Besides, it’s not like she was in love with him.  
__

“Why are you ignoring me?” 

Rey didn’t look up from her laptop as she typed away, briefly pausing to bite into her muffin. “I’m not.”

Ben slid into the seat across from her, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Except that you are.” 

She ignored his last response, continuing to work on her essay. It was due in a couple of weeks and was only assigned this morning but she always enjoyed trying to get things done as soon as possible. Besides, there was no Ben to distract her. Or so she thought.

He abruptly slammed her laptop shut, forcing her to look at him.

“Ben! You could have broken it.” Rey scolded, checking it for cracks and then gently shutting it again.

Ben simply shrugged. “I’ll buy you a new one, that thing’s old anyway.”

“Oh yeah, maybe you can mail it to me when you leave.” Rey snapped, raising her coffee mug up to her lips.

Ben’s brows furrowed and he paused. “What are you talking about?”

“New York, you jackass.”

His face contorted into one of understanding, and then confusion, and then a flash of anger, and then back to confusion. “Phasma told you?”

“Yes, and she wasn’t so nice about it either.” Rey huffed, remembering how it stung when Phasma insisted Ben would have no problem fitting in. “Apparently, the Kylo Ren doesn’t have time for us little people anymore. He’s outgrown this city enough to leave without informing anyone.”

Ben winced upon hearing his fake name. “Please call me Ben.”

Rey felt a twinge of guilt but buried it beneath her anger. She didn’t have to call him anything. It didn’t matter because she was nothing to him. She had a feeling Ben was about to try and explain himself, and Rey had no interest in listening to whatever he had to say. She took the rest of her muffin and her laptop and left a tip on the table. “I think it’d be best if you just left. Please don’t bother calling me.” She insisted, giving Ben one last overlook before turning on her heel and exiting the diner, ignoring him calling her name. It took everything in her to not run back to him.


	14. Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which they make up and ben attends movie night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update, the lack of feedback made it hard to want to update. but i pushed myself because otherwise i'd be thinking about it all day.

Ben had never been on the receiving end of the silent treatment. 

He’d given it to many but no one had ever really ignored him. He was now realizing how terrible it was. Normally, he couldn’t go more than two days without talking to Rey but knowing that she was angry at him and intentionally avoiding him was taking a toll on him. He ordered pizza but she was never the one to pick up the phone or deliver. He sent her text message after text message and left her at least five voice messages. He couldn’t even write, for god’s sake, his pen stalling every time he thought of her. On Saturday, Ben had come to a conclusion that he’d had enough.

He quickly got dressed and threw on his shoes, before all but running out the door. He impatiently waited for the elevator, his fingers practically itching with exhilaration. He was going to win Rey back. Well not really, because she’d never belonged to him in the first place. But she was going to be his soon enough.

When the elevator finally dinged, he quickly entered it. Not bothering to look at whoever was standing beside him, as he was too occupied with thoughts of Rey and what he’d do and say when he saw her again. The woman who had been in the elevator before him began to push past him before Ben recognized the worn out tan leather jacket she was wearing. It was one of Rey’s favorites.

Without thinking, he reached for her wrist and pulled her back in the elevator. She began to protest and struggle when she looked up and saw who had grabbed her. “Ben?” She exclaimed, her eyes widening in shock. 

“Rey.” He mumbled, taking in the sight of her. He felt himself relax just looking at her.

“I-“ Rey began before Ben cut her off.

Ben took a deep breath and sputtered his statement out before Rey had a chance to tell him to go to hell or whatever she came here to say. “I’m not leaving.” He said, rather loudly at the exact moment Rey blurted “I don’t want you to leave.”

Rey stalled. “What?” She said, her voice eerily quiet.

Ben swallowed and took a step forward. “I’m not leaving.” He repeated, reaching for Rey’s hand. To his surprise, she didn’t shove him away so he brought it up to his mouth and pressed a kiss on her knuckles. 

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” She asked, seeming to have gotten a little bit over her initial shock.

“Because I was thinking about it, and I didn’t want to make empty promises,” Ben answered truthfully, running his thumb along her palm.

“So you weren’t sure?” 

Ben nodded.

“What made you change your mind?”

Ben wrinkled his nose in faux disgust. “I’m not fond of hot dogs, mean people, or the subway.” 

“How are you not fond of mean people when you are mean people?” Rey teased, the mood lightening as she looked up at Ben with a raised eyebrow.

“Haha,” Ben said dryly, his hand finding its way to her waist. “I’ve missed your crude jokes.” He hummed, tugging her towards him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and they kissed. 

It was a brief kiss, less passionate and more reassuring. As if neither of them was sure the other really was there, so they had to kiss them to be positive. They pulled away and Rey pressed her head to his chest. 

“You.” Ben suddenly said, looking down at her.

“What about me?” Rey asked, lifting her head slightly.

“I chose to stay, because of you.” 

Rey parted her mouth to something when the elevator door opened again to reveal the one and only Hux. The ginger’s mouth contorted into a shape people make when confronted by something foul. “We’ve gone over this, Ren.” He huffed, entering the elevator shaft and moving farthest away from where Rey and Ben stood.

 

__

“That’s disgusting.” Poe insisted, his nose wrinkling as he surveyed the scene before him. 

Finn and Rey both lifted their heads to glare at him in unison. “Shut it, old man.” Rey huffed, proceeding to dip her oreo into the peanut butter jar. Finn followed suit, sticking his tongue out at Poe before biting into the sandwich cookie. 

“You’re such a brat.” Poe retorted, rolling his eyes at Rey before chucking a throw pillow at her. “Can you not double dip? That’s even worse.”

“It’s my jar, and I say I do not care.” Finn shrugged, his eyes glued to the TV screen as Indiana Jones swung from a vine. 

“Ben, how do you feel about your girlfriend swapping saliva with Finn?” Poe asked, bringing Ben back into the conversation. It took some time for Ben to answer, as he was a bit preoccupied with watching everyone else. He wasn’t used to being asked to participate in discussions, especially among a group of friends when the topic was whether Oreos should be dipped in peanut butter. Ben listened a lot, didn’t like to weigh in. He was glad Poe asked him, however stupid the question may have been. 

Rey turned to look at Ben expectantly and Ben gave a weak shrug. “I mean, better Finn than anyone else.” He finally answered, resulting in an uproar of laughter and a high five from Finn. 

“And I’m not his girlfriend,” Rey added, thirty seconds too late.

“And Poe’s a good singer.” Jess laughed, tossing popcorn into the air and catching it swiftly in her mouth. “Who do you think you’re fooling, sweets?”

“Hey, I am decent!” Poe argued the exact moment Finn protested “He’s decent.” The two men made brief eye contact before blushing and looking away. 

Ben wasn’t one to be involved in other people’s romantic lives. Stars, he wasn’t even very much attentive to his own. But Finn and Poe were sort of getting on his nerves. He didn’t see the problem, clearly, the two of them were deeply infatuated with each other. He’d even go as far as to say that they were in love. A sickening, sweet love that made Ben’s insides curl because they weren’t together. He wondered if he and Rey would ever be like that, or if they were like that. He decided that they would not because they were both smart and knew what they wanted. Right? 

He rolled his eyes at the flushing duo and looked back at Rey who happened to be sitting on the floor with Finn, their jar of peanut butter in front of them. Jess, Snap, and Rose took the couch while Poe and Ben shared a loveseat. Ben had to admit that this movie night thing was sort of fun, even if Poe never shut his mouth during the films, even the ones he chose. Ben was glad Rey had encouraged him to tag along that first time, as he was now expected to be at Rey and Poe’s every Thursday and Tuesday evening without having to ask ahead. Snack duties and movie picking roles changed every week and there seemed to be an obvious pattern in the choices each person made. 

Rose was entirely sappy rom coms and feel good movies, Finn was a fan of action, Snap was all horror whereas Poe was inclined to choose cinematic classics. Movies Rey and Finn, two of the younger ones of their group, hadn’t typically heard of. Jess chose racy movies with heavily sexual scenes and graphic violence that Finn and Rose cringed at. At moments like those, Poe would reach over and try to cover Rey’s eyes, resulting in her slapping his hand away and returning to the movie. 

Ben was shaken from his thoughts when Finn reached over and tugged the plug out of the wall, indicating that the movie was over. He stood up to stretch and Rey followed his lead, her short top lifting up to reveal a bare waist. Ben tried to avert his eyes as she bent over to touch her toes, laughing as she did so. Finn and she were making it some sort of competition and before everyone knew it, it had escalated to them trying to do bizarre things like putting their feet behind their neck or doing a cartwheel. They mostly failed, to the great enjoyment of everyone else, and Rey had broken out into a sweat. Her dark hair was sticking to her forehead as she smiled widely, giggling as Poe shouted out his scoring.

I think I’m in love with her, Ben thought, trying to catch his breath even though he hadn’t been the one moving.


	15. Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which luke does not like rey and vice versa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the beautiful comments last chapter, waking up to them nearly made me cry. i kept rereading them whenever i had writers block, bless. this chapter may be a little short but im planning on updating tomorrow again. enjoy!

Rey was dangerously close to stabbing Luke Skywalker.

It all started out with a simple text from Ben on Saturday evening. Rey hadn’t much to do, as Finn and Jess were working and Poe didn’t want to get his ass handed to him in Mario Kart. So she opted for studying with 30-minute breaks in between each 10-minute cram session. Admittedly it was not a smart idea, but it worked and she busied herself for much of the day. She was nearing the nine-minute mark with her nose buried in a textbook when her phone suddenly pinged with a text notification, prompting her to shut her book and lean over to look at it. 

Solo; Come over, my parents have been asking about you non-stop.

Rey; ur rents r home?

Solo; I have not one clue as to what that sentence may mean. Please hurry before they ask me when I’m getting a real job again.

Rey chuckled and quickly began to get dressed, throwing on a sweater of Finn’s and a pair of light jeans. She brushed out her hair and grabbed her phone and keys before yelling at Poe to let him know she was going out. 

“Out as in?” He called from the bathroom, where he was shaving. Who shaved at 4 pm, Rey did not know. 

“Ben’s.” She answered impatiently, tugging her shoes on. 

Poe gave her a look and she sighed before running out of the door, not wanting to be subjected to more questioning. She quickly drove over to Ben’s, her thumb tapping on the steering wheel in tune to the upbeat song blaring from the radio. Today was going to be a good day, she was sure of it. 

The moment she entered the apartment Leia had given her a bearhug and Rey pecked her cheek in return, glad to see her after a while. Han gave her a smile and a nod which she reciprocated before being swept aside and kissed gingerly by Ben. She blushed and shoved his arm, but was happy to see him nonetheless (even if they had gone out for coffee just yesterday). When she was done greeting them all she noticed a man standing in the corner rather dejectedly. He was wearing a long dark coat and he seemed to be studying everyone intensely. Rey recognized that brooding stare, it was very similar to Ben’s when he was working on something. “Hello.” She said softly, concluding that this must be his uncle, Luke. 

She’d only seen him once and was almost positive he didn’t remember her. When he didn’t respond to her greeting, Rey assumed he hadn’t heard her clearly or wasn’t aware that she was speaking to him. She walked over and stuck her hand out, smiling widely. “I’m Rey.” She said, introducing herself.

Luke studied her for a moment, looking her up and down in a sort of disinterested way. “That’s nice. And why are you here?” He asked, sounding rather rude.

Rey was a bit taken back, and so her hand dropped quickly as she attempted to collect her thoughts.

“Luke!” Leia exclaimed the exact moment Han said: “Try again, bud.”

Rey, appreciating the two of them backing her up, decided not to let this escalate into a situation where her emotions would take over. She did have a habit of getting defensive, something Poe and now Ben loved to point out. She closed her eyes and inhaled through her nose before exhaling a little puff of breath through her mouth, figuring that taking a deep breath would calm her. She opened her eyes again to find Luke looking a bit perplexed. “I’m Ben’s girlfriend,” Rey said, tilting her head with a smile. 

To her surprise, the man smiled back. The corners of his mouth tilted up, and for a brief shining moment, he looked like the kind of person who was meant to be smiling. Finn always said that. He insisted that some people were just born happy and you could tell that they were meant to stay that way. Sometimes, however, bad things changed them. Rey thought that once upon a time, Luke might have been very happy. She wondered what happened. Maybe it was something recent and terrible and he was just the smallest bit bitter. Who was she to judge? She took in his smile, shaking Finn’s theory from her head. It was kind of sweet if Rey were honest. Until he opened his mouth. “I don’t trust you.” He said, his mouth dropping back into the thin line of disappointment it had been in previously.

Rey’s smile immediately disappeared from her face, and her expressions were overcome with a grimace of confusion. The room was completely silent, his words seeming to echo. “Excuse me?” She finally said, still getting over the initial shock of his statement.

“I said, I don’t trust you. Do you have some sort of ulterior motive?” Luke said, speaking a bit slower in a condescending manner. 

Rey felt her blood begin to boil and she took a step further, preparing to launch herself into a long speech about how disrespectful it was to speak to her like that. Before she could open her mouth, Ben beat her to it. 

“Could you try not to be a judgemental codger for once, Uncle?” He asked, his tone brimming with anger and a hint of disappointment in his relative.

“Could you try to watch your tone with me, nephew?” Luke said, his voice softening slightly as he addressed Ben. 

Eventually, Han stepped in, walking over to Luke, grabbing his shoulders squarely and steering him towards the direction of Ben’s library. “Hey, Luke. Buddy. Y’know Benny’s got himself a chessboard? Pretty grand, let’s check it out.” 

“I am so sorry, dear. He’s like this to everyone.” Leia explained as soon as they disappeared. She gently grabbed Rey’s arm and tugged her away. “He’ll warm up to you. Eventually.” She added, sighing heavily before leading Rey to the kitchen to show off the meal she’d been preparing. 

__

“So...'girlfriend'? What made you want to adopt that title now of all times?” Ben hummed as he escorted her to the elevator. 

“I’ve had a long night, Ben.” Rey insisted, waiting impatiently for a door to open. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, willing herself to erase all memories of today. She’d been forced into dinner and dessert with the family before being subjected to a drunk debate over whether or not Ben was of marriage age. Not once did Luke seem to soften towards Rey, instead keeping up a scary and ultimately off-putting front towards her. 

Her eyes sprung open at the sound of an elevator door opening and she quickly entered, praying not to have to see Hux or god forbid, Phasma. Thankfully not a redhead or platinum blonde was spotted, and Rey leaned against the back wall of the shaft. Ben followed her, planting himself in front of her. His towering over her forced her to look up at him. He looked nice today, his navy sweater looking casual compared to what he was usually clad in. “You were great, you know. I don’t know what I would have done if someone important to you were acting rude to me.”

“He wasn’t-”

Ben tilted his head, lifting a hand up to cup her cheek gently. “Come on, Kenobi. We both know he was being a grade A dick, or as you like to say ‘a proper git’.”

The last part of his statement made her smile slightly and she forgot how annoyed she was for a moment. Her mouth opened and she found herself about to form the word ‘I’. She had almost told him she loved him. Just like that, she almost slipped. Collecting herself she opened her mouth again. “I wanted to feel important and relevant.” She said, a bit more serious.

“You are. You are insanely important to me, Rey Kenobi. Please do not for one second think you aren’t.” He answered, those ridiculously pretty eyes of his boring into hers. 

Rey leaned up and kissed the corner of his mouth, wanting to do more, but aware of the elevator doors opening. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

“Only if you want to.”


	16. Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which ben reflects on his relationship with his uncle and poe needs help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fair warning; not much rey in this chapter! i'm sorry, but i am planning on kisses and maybe some cuddling further on so bare with me! don't forget to comment, they motivate me so much and i literally reread them like three times a day (not kidding). please enjoy!

Ben Solo was once again the victim of writer’s block.

It seemed like the moment he escaped the clutches of it, he’d be momentarily distracted and then suddenly find himself back in a hole. It was awful, really. He couldn’t call up Rey to hear her voice because she was working. He didn’t feel like ordering pizza because he hadn’t an appetite at the moment, either. So he sat there and listened to the soft lyric-less music floating from his speakers, hoping for some sort of motivation to present itself. When he’d gotten sick of waiting, he let his thoughts take over, knowing that it wasn’t a good idea but indulging in it anyway. 

He relived his last moments with Rey. He felt awful about how Luke had been acting towards her but then again, Ben knew Rey wasn’t the type to wilt at the prospect of someone disliking her. He wasn’t worried about her or Luke, for that matter. Luke Skywalker had always been severely overprotective, over not just Ben, but his entire family. It was part of his personality, Ben always thought. 

Ben and Luke were sort of close, you could say. If he were to be honest, they used to be close. Ben was almost always dropped off at Uncle Luke’s when his mom and dad decided that it was time to explore Venice, Italy or Paris, France. Ben cared a lot at first, angrily throwing tantrums and even refusing to speak to Luke. Eventually, it became completely crystal clear that Luke was not the one to be angry at. Every time Ben broke something or screamed in his face, Luke either ignored it or quietly cleaned up the mess before returning to the thick novel he was reading. At first, it was torture. Not having anyone always cater to his needs or spoil him was hard on a spoiled kid who grew up with the most doting mother and caretakers in the universe (Why Ben wasn’t left with those caretakers was a mystery to him, even to this day. His parents could probably have afforded anyone to put up with him, yet every time without hesitation it was “Pack your bags, you’re going to Luke’s”. ) Finally, around the time Ben hit 12 years of age and his parents decided that the Louvre was worth visiting twice, he realized that you aren’t really winning a war if the other person isn’t even participating. 

So he decided to make amends, or at least attempt to. It was hard for Ben to admit that he was wrong or ever apologize even then, but he knew it had to be done. He looked all around Luke’s two-story (that happened to be located in the middle of nowhere) and finally found his uncle. He was sitting outside on the porch, sipping on his evening tea peacefully. Tchaikovsky’s Waltz of the Flowers played from the small vinyl player on the chair beside him and Ben picked it up before setting it down on the glass table. He sat in the chair himself, pulling his legs up to his chest, and followed Luke’s gaze to the space above them. It suddenly occurred to him that it was nearly nighttime and that Luke had sat down for his ritual of watching the sun disappear. The classical music definitely made the sunset a touch more beautiful and Ben watched the orange sky delve into slight darkness for a while before turning to Luke.

“I don’t really hate it here, you know.” He said, eyeing his uncle to see if he could spot a reaction. “I don’t even hate you.”

“I know,” Luke replied, not taking his eyes away from the sky above him, even though the sun was nearly gone.

Ben, who at the time had a flair for dramatic, was annoyed at his response. “What do you mean you know?”

Luke turned to him and gave him a sad smile, the first open expression Ben had ever seen displayed on his uncle’s face. “You miss your parents. You don’t hate me, you hate the fact that they aren’t here, or that they don’t offer to take you along.”

Ben felt sort of attacked, but also surprised that Luke was able to say more than one sentence at a time. “Whatever.” He responded, turning away from his uncle to pour himself a cup of tea. There happened to be an extra teacup there, which surprised Ben because there was no way Luke had known he was going to be joining him. He ignored this and proceeded to take a sip of his drink.

“Have you ever heard that happiness is the sole purpose and meaning of life, the aim-” Luke began, quoting Aristotle before being cut off by an impatient Ben.

“-and end of human existence. Yes, I am familiar with one of the world’s most famous philosophers. Your point?”

Luke chuckled and turned to Ben with a look. “My point, is that you are a brat. You cry when you don’t get what you want, you break every vase your mother gifts me, and you refuse to eat anything that isn’t homemade even though I am not a very good cook. Nothing pleases you and that’s a problem.”

“Excuse me?” A perplexed Ben stared at Luke as if he’d grown another head. His uncle didn’t talk so much, and he was never this judgemental. 

Luke sighed before setting his empty teacup down. “Stop dwelling on the things that hurt you, and start focusing on things that will make the hurt go away.”

There was a long pause in which Ben attempted to take in what Luke the Philosopher had just said. Eventually, he tried his luck; “Are you suggesting I become an alcoholic, Uncle?”

Luke stood up and stretched before bending over and picking up the tea tray. “Whatever tickles your fancy, kid.”

Over the years, Ben thought and thought about something that’d make ‘his hurt go away’, as Luke put it. It was hard and took a while but he realized an escape from everything was writing. The thought of being able to spin all your ideas into a single work that culminates all your abilities and skills? Beautiful. Ben loved it, spent nearly every waking moment of his college years with his pen against a pad of paper. 

Which brings him back to now. All those years of self-discovery and applying himself to things he thought mattered, only to have it brought down by a drought of inspiration. He wanted to rip his hair out. His hand snaked into his dark locks and he thought he might go through with it when his phone suddenly went off. 

Ben scrunched his nose at the most recent text message illuminating his screen. It was from the one and only Poe Dameron, asking Ben if he were free. Ben wondered what Poe might want from him. They weren’t exactly buddy-buddy and they only hung out if it was together as a group or if he happened to be at his and Rey’s place. He contemplated whether he should even reply or simply leave it unanswered. Deeming that rude, he typed an answer, attempting to sound as polite as he could to make up for his thoughts.

Ben; I am not occupied at the moment, why do you ask?

Dameron responded at a surprisingly fast rate, having delivered the message practically the second Ben hit send. 

Poe; Maz’s, now.

Poe; Please!

Ben wasn’t aware that people texted with exclamation notes, but this was Poe, and he was nothing if not overly dramatic. Ben sighed, shut his notebook, and reached for his jacket. Maybe a walk to Maz’s might clear his head, it wasn’t so bad outside for late December. Besides, he needed the inspiration to get over his writer’s block and Poe was a surprisingly interesting person. 

On his way to the diner, nothing really struck him as memorable and he made it there in a relatively okay time. Poe already sat at the window seat booth, seeming completely calm for the way he was texting earlier. A plate of cheeseburger sliders sat in front of him, untouched and he sipped on his cherry drink as he looked out the window wistfully. Ben slid in across from him and gave him a weak smile. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Poe replied, a nervous grin spreading across his face. 

Ben could see what Rey liked about him so much. Poe had charisma, a natural charm. It was a refreshing break from the painfully dull life Ben led. He began to wonder if Rey thought he was dull. He made a mental note to ask her. “So, what was up with the emergency text? You alright?”

Poe took a deep breath before responding. “I think I’m in love with Finn and I don’t know what to do.”

“Wow, okay. I-what made you think you should come to me?” Ben asked, completely confused but a tad bit glad Poe trusted him with a secret this size (not that it was that much of a secret).

Poe wrung out his hands desperately. “Well, I couldn’t go to Rey because her and Finn are best friends. The others would make fun of me but you’re not the bullying kind. Also, you and I are in the same boat.” He added the last part confidently, his face completely serious.

“We are?” Ben asked, mildly confused but also surprised Poe knew.

“Oh, absolutely,” Poe answered, something wicked gleaming in his dark eyes. “I think we could help each other.”


	17. Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which rey is confused as to what poe and ben are up to and finn is blissfully unbothered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, i am working on another reylo fic that's going to be an enemies to lovers au. i want them to be coworkers but i'm just thinking of an appropriate job that both of them would work, please comment some it'd mean the world! also don't forget to leave feedback and please enjoy!

 

 

“What’s wrong with carnations?” Ben whined into his cellphone as he paced the living room, one hand tugging on his dark hair exasperatedly. 

 

Rey assumed the Leia had replied with something along the lines of ‘Everything’ because Ben sighed and shoved his hand into his pocket. “Mom, that’s not a legitimate answer.” 

 

As he continued to argue over what flowers and colors should be arranged for his parent’s anniversary party, Rey scrolled through emails on her phone. She had a couple from various professors, reminding her about homework and tests. A few were from online shopping stores she’d subscribed to, notifying her about new deals and the such. Nothing new or out of the ordinary. She shut her phone off and set it to the side, looking over at Ben who happened to be just ending the call. 

 

“Yes. Love you too. Bye.” He recited before pulling the phone away from his ear and ending the call. He gave Rey a pointed look as he tossed the device onto the couch. “That’s why I usually don’t pick up her calls.” He admitted, collapsing onto the sofa beside her. 

 

“That’s rude,” Rey said, giving him a small frown.

 

“I’m rude,” Ben responded, running his fingers through Rey’s hair gently. “You should know that by now.” 

 

Rey leaned into his touch, her head resting on his shoulder. “You’re absolutely right.” She hummed, closing her eyes. It was another lazy Sunday morning where Rey had gone out to get coffee before deciding to go to Ben’s. She’d showed up with a cappuccino and one of those cherry tarts he was so fond of. Swinging by his place turned into an hour-long talk, with Leia occasionally interrupting by calling Ben repeatedly. Every time he ignored her, he just insisted that he’d call her back. But Rey was concerned something may be wrong so she encouraged him to pick up and then proceeded to sit on her phone for the next half hour while Ben reluctantly planned a party with his mother.

 

“We need to talk,” Ben said abruptly, his hand suddenly stilling. 

 

Rey’s eyes popped open and she sat up, her anxiety forming a pit in her stomach. “About what?” She asked, bracing herself for the worst. 

 

He couldn’t be breaking up with her because they weren’t technically together. Or were they? And he couldn’t be leaving to New York because he’d already spoken with Phasma. So what could it be? Was he dying? God, was Leia dying? Had he been drafted into the military? Do they even draft for the military when there isn’t a war going on?

 

“Us.” 

 

“Us?” She croaked, her voice sounding thin and weak. 

 

Ben rolled his eyes before taking her hand in his and rubbing his thumb along her knuckles, as he always did when she was nervous. “Relax, I’m not moving away or leaving you or whatever’s running through your head right now.”

 

Rey let out a breath of relief and Ben chuckled. “Then what about us?”

 

“Rey,” Ben said, his tone completely serious, “will you marry me?”

 

It was safe to say that Rey practically choked on air before Ben laughed and cupped her cheek again. “I’m only kidding. I was wondering if you’d like to see the Russian Ballet next weekend? The only time they’re coming to town.” He announced as if he hadn’t almost taken Rey’s life with that small prank. 

 

“Depends, how much are tickets?” She asked, trying to calm her racing heart.

 

Ben shrugged as he dragged his fingers down Rey’s cheek softly. “Already bought four.” 

 

“Oh, your parents are coming?” She asked a tad bit excited too excited at the prospect of getting to see Leia Organa and Han Solo again.

 

Ben shook his head with a smile. ”No, no.” He simply answered, before jumping up and smoothing down imaginary wrinkles in his sweater. “I’m going to make us a real breakfast, any requests?” He asked, slyly trying to change the topic. 

 

“Ben,” Rey said sternly, rising from her place on the couch, “who is it?”

 

“Please do not be angry I didn’t ask beforehand.” Ben insisted before walking over to her with a small sigh and placing his hands on her shoulders stoutly. “Poe and Finn, but don’t tell Finn because Poe hasn’t asked yet.” He added the second part after a moment of thought.

 

Rey gave him a suspicious smile, happy that he liked their friends enough to invite them but also confused about whether he had an ulterior motive. And if so, what was it? Still, the prospect of a double date with her most favorite people in the world was an endearing one and she softened immediately. She had thought he'd invited Phasma and Hux or something.“Why would I be angry? I think that’s lovely.” 

 

Ben gave a small satisfied smile and his shoulders seemed to relax. “Great.”

 

Rey leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, her lips curling into a beam as his hands looped around her waist. “So,” She began, reaching up so that her mouth may be eerily close to his neck, “I’d like an omelet with cheese.” She whispered, chuckling slightly when he gave her an exasperated glare.

 

“I hate you.” He muttered, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear before leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

 

“I know.”

  
  


__

 

Something was amiss and Rey knew it. 

 

Rey wasn’t the kind to go on feelings or vibes, that was Finn’s thing. She was much more logical and trusting in people’s words rather than the aura that ‘surrounded’ them. But when she and Ben were conversing over the past couple days, she felt a distinct personality change in him that told her something was going on. It wasn’t as if Ben had just stopped being Ben completely. He still stole the strawberries off her crepes, corrected her grammar in text messages, and taught her about a different section of the museum every weekend. Something about him was just a bit off. 

 

And even stranger yet, he seemed to have been growing closer to Poe. Occasionally going out to lunch with him and conveniently forgetting to invite Rey to join, asking about where Poe was ‘casually’ whenever he came over, and even going as far as to pick up grapes for him when he swung by to pick Rey up. Rey couldn’t tell if Poe was stealing Ben or if Ben were stealing Poe. Either way, she felt robbed and confused. 

 

Finn, on the other hand, wasn’t fascinated by the sudden friendship, going on with his studies and work without mentioning either of the men. “Seriously, Rey. Relax, they aren’t planning a murder or something.” He said dryly, the day of the ballet. 

 

“Or maybe they’re both cheating on you.” Jess announced in a surprisingly cheerful tone as she tossed another dress at Rey. Why she owned so many nice dresses was beyond Rey, maybe it had to do with the fact that she went out every other night. 

 

“That doesn’t make sense if she isn’t dating either of them, smart one,” Finn answered, rolling his eyes as he continued to launch the bouncy ball towards the wall and catching it swiftly in his hands. 

 

“I’m not worried or anything, just perplexed. Don’t you find it weird that Ben knows exactly how Poe likes his coffee? I’m not saying that they are plotting something, but they are definitely plotting something.” Rey insisted as she spun around in a fluffy, blue, Cinderella replica of a dress. “This looks ridiculous on me, Jess.” 

 

“What would they be plotting though? Another fantastic get-together idea? You’re right, try the green one.” Finn said, tearing his eyes away from his ball to give Rey a look over.

 

Jess sighed loudly and helped lift the dress over Rey’s head before helping her into the thin emerald material of the next one. “Finn, it’s a date. A  _ date _ . Not a get-together, you delusional muffinhead.” 

 

“Poe said it was.” Finn narrowed his eyes at her before tossing the ball at her head, she skillfully ducked before glaring at him back. 

 

“Oh please, that’s his way of saying ‘no homo’ to ensure that you’ll come.” She snapped, successfully managing to shut Finn up temporarily. “Oh my god, Rey. This is great.” She insisted after she had finished zipping up her dress, studying Rey in the floor length mirror. 

 

“Muffinhead,” Rey hummed, smiling appreciatively at her reflection, “that’s a good one. What do you think, Finn?”

 

“Of the insult or the dress?” He asked, still sounding a bit bitter at Jess proclamation. 

 

“The dress.”

 

“I think it’s absolutely stunning.” He said with a small smile.


	18. Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (short chapter) in which the gang goes to see the ballet and jessika pava is a crackhead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the MAJOR hiatus, i moved and everything has been so hectic and i really missed updating but here's this short chapter to make up for it! also i am posting my new reylo fic, the enemies to lovers one, pretty damn soon so please check that out!

The Russian Ballet was nothing short of extraordinary. It was beautiful. The way the dancers moved intricately to tell a story, the lighting, the slick doll-like masquerade masks hiding their actual expressions with dramatized drooping lips and black holes for eyes. It was all very surreal. As she watched the dance she couldn’t help but look around at the people who filled the theater. They all seemed like this was a weekly occurrence, nothing special. She supposed that these people, these horrifyingly wealthy people, had seen this all before. Part of her was happy she’d gotten to experience the joy of savoring the performance for the first time unlike the expressionless zombies that filled the theaters seats. 

Finn, who was seated on her left, was equally mesmerized. Squeezing Rey’s wrist every time an interesting twirl or jump was done. Rey noticed Poe staring at his face for most of the time, his lips fixed in a wistful smile. 

And then there was Ben. Ben who fumbled with his watch and looked up at the ceiling, down at the floor, and even at Rey’s face. Ben, who looked like he wanted to tell her something but kept quiet. She resolved to talking to him after the performance, maybe at dinner. 

When the ballet was over, and she and Finn were finished fawning over the performance, the group filed into Ben’s car. Rey sat in the front seat, which left Poe and an awestruck Finn alone in the backseat. 

She tried not to listen to their hushed conversation, resting her head on Ben’s shoulder and wondering what restaurant he’d booked for them tonight. 

“Is it the one with the little lights on the table?” She murmured into his ear. 

He seemed confused at the sudden question but the corner of his mouth turned up slightly. “No, but if you want to go there again I can very well get us reservations-“

“No, no. That’s very sweet of you, but I was just wondering.” 

“Is Friday night okay for you?” Ben asks, despite her protests. 

“Ben, I said-“ Rey begins, exasperated. 

“Great. I’ll pick you up around seven.” He nods, his eyes trained on the road. 

Rey sighs and straightens herself in her seat. “You are impossible.”

“I know.” He glances at her briefly, something warm flashing in his eyes. 

Dinner was fleeting and a lot better than Rey imagined. Poe and Finn laughed and conversed for most of the night, only pausing to eat or comment on something Ben or Rey had to say. 

Ben was still acting a bit distant, his replies a lot more programmed than his usual unpredictable quips. She pondered what could possibly be the problem, maybe it had to do with his mother? Or father? Perhaps it was his uncle, the evil one who lived a couple states away. Either way, Rey wished he would tell her. 

The night ended with him pulling up to their home and Finn and Poe climbing out of the back. Finn had no morning classes and so he was going to spend the night, much to Poe’s pleasure. They gave Ben a wave and headed inside, leaving Rey alone with her beau. She leaned against his door, her head peeking through the open window, waiting for him to say something. 

“Goodnight, my dear.”

 

 

Rey’s fears were nonexistent until a certain somebody pointed out a key factor missing in her relationship.

It all started with a walk to Maz’s with Jessika after a long day of work. Upon arriving at the beloved restaurant, they noticed a familiar head of curly, dark hair seated by a notably unfamiliar head of hair. It was long and blonde, tumbling in waves down her narrow back that happened to be facing them. Rey wanted to go up and greet Ben and his friend but was held back by Jess, who turned her around forcefully and pulled her hoodie over her face. “Do not let him see you.” She whispered, rather loudly before dragging them to a booth behind the duo. 

“What? Why?” Rey asked, lowering her voice to match her friend’s. 

“Quick question,” Jess said, not bothering to stop and answer Rey’s as she slid into the seat across from her, “Did you and Ren ever have the talk?” 

“T-The talk?” Rey repeated, a bit perplexed.  
Jess flipped through the menu loudly, pausing and studying a different option every now and then. “Yeah, you know ‘the talk’. Whether you two are-” She stopped and turned to the waiter beside them, “I’ll have a banana split- exclusive?” She finished her sentence. 

Rey ordered some coffee and a muffin before frowning at the table. “No, I mean, should we have? I don’t see why, I trust him, he trusts me. I think we both know where we stand.”

Even as she said that Rey couldn’t help but think about how strange Ben had been acting the night of the ballet. The way he’d dismissed her questions even though he looked like he wanted to answer. She felt her stomach curl and she looked away from Jess. 

Jess sat back in her seat and folded her arms. “You are just so naive, Rey. That’s what they want. For you to trust them enough about that without explicitly stating that you are, in fact, exclusive. So if or when they get caught, you’ve never talked about it.” After concluding her statement, Jess gave Rey a terrible wink. 

Rey paused for a while before coming to a conclusion of which she relayed to her friend; “You are mad.”

“No, I’m not, I’m having an actually alright day.”

“No, no, mad as in crazy. Insane, ludacris, delusional. You’re mad, Jess. Is this from personal experience?” She added, reaching over to take her hand.

Maybe Ben was having some problems, but she wholeheartedly doubted that he would ‘cheat’ on her. 

“What? No! This isn’t about me, this is about you and Ren. You guys are falling apart! Focus on that instead of me and my underlying trust issues.” She insisted, leaning back to let her food be set in front of her. She lunged for her iced tea to avoid further conversation, leaving Rey to sip on her coffee in thought. 

She thought back to his strange behaviors the night before. His being fidgety and quiet all night, the wanting to make her happy. Her eyes drifted over to the woman sitting in front of her boyfriend and an idea of what may be going on began to formulate. 

But he wouldn’t, not Ben. 

“It’s always the ones you’d least expect,” Jess sighs, looking down at her bowl of ice cream. 

Rey snapped her head up at her, wondering how the hell she read her mind. 

“I’m talking about my fries, the ugliest ones are almost always the tastiest? I don’t understand?” She frowns, swiping a fry through the vanilla in typical weird Jess fashion. “Life is so incomprehensible sometimes.”


End file.
